The Woman In Black

Harry Potter And The Woman In Black

2012

So I've never been one to go with the flow and dis a movie if the collective reviews are negative or love the fuck out of something that's a 'cult classic' I'm honest with my reviews and I like what I like and I liked this movie.

The very first scene gets right to it, we see three girls all playing with their dolls having a grand old time and the suddenly they all stop dead and slowly and eerily walk to their window and jump. Suicides are a popular theme in this movie.

The movie is well shot and once you get past all the Harry Potter jokes you see that Danny Radcliff is a rather fantastic actor and I think he breaks away from the role of Harry well enough that he can be a better and wider actor then he first started off.

My one issue with Mr Radcliff is his character has a four year old son... a FOUR YEAR OLD SON when Danny himself doesn't look more then 19 with a bit of bum fluff going on where a beard should be and sporting very wtf eyebrows..

His son is adorable and we find out about his tragic past,cus no good character can get away without some tragic past right?

We all have a giggle at the sons drawings showing how sadface the miserable and gritty looking main man is. He travels to a little village to get some dead woman's will in order and the village gives off one hell of a 'This is a local village for local people!' right away everyone hates him.

Cus he's a wizard outsider.

One guy who doesn't believe in all this mumbo jumbo be-friends Mr Kipp and even invites him to dinner. It's made more then clear that the people of the village don't want him there and he manages to bribe some very homeless looking guy to take him to the dead woman's house..

Which is on an island, on it's own, separated from the village by the sea. Cliche of all cliches I know but bare with us. The house the moment he goes in is very typical of a haunted house and right away we know shit is going down. He spends the day and in true supernatural horror form things go bump in the night.

Every scare is easy to see coming from the footsteps along the old wooden floors to the thunder storm raging out the window. And you know that EVERY SINGLE TIME Danny Radcliff looks into a reflective surface or out a window for a prolonged amount of time OMG THERE SHE IS THE WOMAN IN BLACK, EVERYONE SCREAM!!! AAAAAH!

Yes, 95% of the scares you do see coming but you WILL still jump. The movie is shot very well and the fading in and out of faces of the woman and the other dead is very well done and tastefull. If you want a good old fashioned super natural ghost story with great costumes and an old worldly feel this is good. Beats the fuck out of Paranormal 'this is a real story but has a sequel or two' Activity

So we find out that every time someone sees the woman in black someone in the village, a child DIES and it's all Danny's fault and they try once again run him out.

But that's be no fun right? so he stays anyway and low and behold more shit goes down, we even see zombie mud man son of woman in black. We find out more of her story, how her sister fucked up with her husband and took the child with them, how the child died and the woman's hatred for her sister.

Danny and his friend decide if they find the kids body and reunite it with the mother all will be well so we get to see Danny covered in mud and some over acting [although alot of the cast is a tad hamming it up] so the plan goes ahead and the son and mother are reunited but the words NEVER FORGIVE echo through the old ladies house.

The curse as it was, is not over and his son and nanny come to visit and once again the woman in black decides to tell a child to go and kill themselves.

The ending as more cheese then a double cheese and bacon whooper meal but it's sweet, very sweet and it a lovely ending as you do feel for this man and his troubles. Also this movie has alot of child killing which is still a mega taboo in alot of things.

If your looking for a movie with depth, maybe not this one but it is a good old fashion scary ghost story, it's so nice to have something like this over the gore, gore, gore slash stab kill gore that the horror genre is pretty much stuffed with.

If you want to watch a good movie that will make you and a few people scream in the movies, you need this one.

Acting: 3.5/5

Scares: 5/5

Gore: 0/5

Story: 4/5

Overall: 5/5

X6XJigsawX6X

Horror A - Z .:A is for Amityville Horror:.

Amityville Horror

[When houses have shit loads of PMS]

I am however on about the version with Mr Ryan 'I need to take my shirt off as much as possible' Renolds. I try and make an effort to watch both the new and shiny version of something then the old classic it's ripped off and more then likely spat on it's grave but this time I will have to come clean, not seen the ordinal one yet.

The casting it's bad no one that I can't stand and pretty decent main man even if his beard was my main focus the whole movie.. I mean come on Mr Renolds looked like a skinny version of Al from Home Improvement!

Tell me I'm wrong, do it.

Leaving that glorious beard alone for a moment, the movie itself! I think the whole 'Shit we know this place has been scene of some nasty murders but we really can't afford better' is a nice realistic touch I mean if you think about the housing market now I'm pretty sure if you told someone there was a murder of twenty hundred people in this large three bedroom house near town, bus route, close to the school no one would think twice about putting a down payment on that sucker if it was cheap. Morals be damned!

I liked the pacing of the movie it wasn't too fast and it didn't drag it kept you interested and on edge through out. The house was pretty close to how I always see the old house in my mind whenever anyone brings up the movie tittle. The ghostly scenes were well done to me and this is what a horror movie is to me, something that is scary and is playing on your mind not just when your watching it but even after you've watched it, the sense of realism with this movie. The fact that the evil ghostly presents was mixed with Ryan's maddening persona as the movie went on.

Also that man can go from normal Mr average Joe to mental bloodshot nutcase in mer moments, he was a good choice, no idea why the man had to bring Des and Troy along for a horror movie but he decided to be a giant beefcake for a movie about the supernatural.

The way the movie told the story was well put together. The creepy little dead girl was a good character and I was glad when she showed skanky mc skankerson the babysitter to watch herself. The effects both CGI and blood was neat, realistic and worth the dolla dolla.

One scene that struck me as a little wtf was when Gunshow and blonde godsquad wife were getting it on the little dead girl who was SHOT in the head decided to be shown hanging herself at the edge of the bed... I mean why was she hanging herself when her cause of death was gunshot to the head? we can even see that at this point in the movie, was it a scare tactic? I mean if so it worked but minus what happened with the babysitter it's shown the little girl ghost isn't a vengeful spirit like anything else in the house...

Ryan's slowly getting madder and madder through the movie was interesting to watch and as I've said before, well done. He see's flashes of himself doing horrible things and you know the real him is still in there when he reacts to certain things in certain ways, showing it's a battle of trying to keep himself sane but a losing one none the less.

Bleeding walls have never been done so well but damn I'd be pissed if this jackass house decided to bleed all over my brand new fucking carpet.

Also the sheer amount of KISS in the movie I kinda think they had shares in it or something, Jesus.

The relationship with the living girl and the dead one was rather sweet if not sinister at the same time and at the end when little dead girl sheds a tear that she's lost her only real friend is pretty touching. To me it was the bitter ending the movie needed seeing as the main family seemed to get away fine and this sort of movie needed the dark sad ending it was given.

Amityville has been a ghost story on film and legends in real life, the tagline for the movie is 'based on a true story' which bits are true or not is for you to decide. But the whole story of Amityville has enough content to make you think it could be true, to believe the stories you've read and seen in the movie and that 'unsure' element makes the movie drag in your mind even more.

I think there needs to be less slasher movies and more movies like this one, the dark feeling of 'oh fuck, that could have happened!' or 'shit that DID happen..' if nothing else it'll get people googling about it, make them read it and will keep great ghost stories, real of false alike alive and kicking.

We all liked to be scared once in awhile and this movie will do it.

Now something to take your mind off of possible dark and unhappy thoughts..

Welcome to the gun show PA-POW!

Story: 5/5

Gore: 3/5

Scare: 5/5

Cast: 4/5

Overall enjoyment: 5/5

And remember, when a house tells you to get out, you fucking get out and burn that mother fucker DOWN!

--- X6XJigsawX6X--