Bitchin'

Posted on fb by a good friend of mine I looked on google and damn, this bike is some badass stuff.

That is one awesome bike I don't even want to think how much that cost to make or buy.

Also..

Am I the only one who wishes they could see a race between these two?

X6XJIGSAWX6X

Silly Saturday

Silly Saturday

Know what is the worst thing about being lost in space?

Fucking face huggers in the cereal :/

THOSE AREN'T FOR YOU!

Space Horror

A type of horror that has it's own genre I feel. There's not many space horror's out there, there are however enough good movies about aliens on earth to keep us going but not horrors IN space. Also known as sifi-horror. I think for me the movie that owns this genre over and over again is Alien whose long and glorious franchise has spanned from 1979 to 1997 and has also been part of a VS movie but if Freddy VS Jason has taught us anything it's avoid anything vs anything for your own sake.

So as I was saying, ALIEN is the mother of this little sub genre of horror. I remember watching it as a kid and being captivated by it, how sleek and awesomely designed the Aliens were, somehow the design just looked like 'yeah aliens could so be like that'.  The movies are slow going but build up a sense of dread, the things with horrors in space is.. we know so little about space that for us to be stuck out there with something unknown, so very far from anyone who could help is terrifying.

The casting is good, the acting is fantastic for such an old set movie the B movie cheesyness is no where to be found in this franchise, it is just good solid horror. Even the gore back then was spot on, I think movies today could learn allot from the brilliant execution this movie had.

Event Horizon is another good space horror, the unseen force that lurks around every corner keeping you on the edge of your seat is very much there. It's another well created horror movie having all the right elements of what should be scary, keeping the cheese away and for the most part a good acting and cast crew which is always a plus point in horror as horror tends to go down the drain if the cast are as believable as a yeti wearing Madonna's fashion line.

This movie also has the whole 'going mad' and self destruction element going on showing people are as dangerous as anything else out there trying to get you.

Pandorum is much newer 1t 2009 filling the gap between the old school and the newschool of the genre, again another good movie, not as awesome as the movies before it but it was again something of a good watch, the aliens weren't as 'alien' as before or as 'unseen' as before but it's worth a watch.

The newest space horror that has come to the worlds attention is Apollo 18 and I can't say much on this as it is on my ever growing pile of 'TO WATCH' DVD's so it'll more then likely get it's own spiffy review when I get around to it.

I still think instead of making SAW 10000 or another bull shit 'haunting of' 'paranoaml..' why don't we fill the gap in the market? it's shown that space horrors have something good and awesome in them.

Now I think the biggest game that comes to mind for a space horror is DEAD SPACE. I enjoyed the game, the aliens.... um not aliens were awesome. The story goes our main man is going to see his wife, girlfriend whatever on another ship and a crazy region has sprung up and so have these horrid things called 'Necromorphs' the designs are fantastic and there is nothing as unsettling as a baby with tentacles and going through a kids nursery to see exploding babies.

Game play is easy to get on with, very good plot in the first, not as much in the second but these games are a fantastic add on to the space horror niche. Also with it's own rather enjoyable anime prequel I think DEAD SPACE deserved a mention up here.

X6XJIGSAWX6X

Uzumaki

Uzumaki

By Junji Ito

I've read this once before and re-reading it at the moment as it is one fantastic manga and a good example of strange horror. The art style is good, not too 'ANIMUUU DESU!111' in case that's what puts you off of manga in the first place. The art style like I said is enjoyable, detailed and does gore rather well.

I found out about it by accident years ago while trying to find another horror manga but I am glad I found this. This manga is 20 manga's long which in the grand scheme of how they work, that is not allot at all, it also have a movie adaption which is TERRIBLE it cuts out all the good bits and takes ages to get into the story at all, it's also allot of money to get hold of it these days [so I'd really not bother unless like me you want it for the collection]

The story is based around a young high school student and her boyfriend, her boyfriend goes to school in the next city over and notices how odd this place is in comparison and warns his girlfriend to leave with him, she scoffs that he's nuts and then really, really odd things start to happen.

I won't tell you too much as it would ruin an amazing manga for you but I will say this is a well paced manga where every issue something is going on! snail people, crazy preg ladies and god knows what else if you like strange and odd horror, this is awesome.

For those interested I have provided a link for the manga! it can be read in all it's well scanned glory here = http://manga.animea.net/uzumaki.html try and donate a little to the nice for providing us with awesome cheap manga.

X6XJigsawX6X

The Faces Of Horror

When people think of horror they think of the old school faces of horror like Freddy, Jason and Mike Myers and their very long list of franchises. The villain from SCREAM is also a face of horror even if the list of those movies are on one hand you get his mask sold all over the western world on Halloween and in fancy dress stores and he has become one of the iconic symbols of the horror genre.

I think our generations 'face of horror' has to be Jigsaw from SAW, the movie has been out every year running now and Jigsaw is the new icon for horror for this age what with the SAW movies being current and a lengthy 7 [and counting] movies long. It's funny though how Jigsaw has been put up there with such icons of horror, he unlike all the others was never 'bad' or 'evil' or even 'supernatural' like some of/all of our other best friends. He is just a dying man who felt he needed to teach people a lesson, one that would 'help them' a good idea maybe but poorly executed.

But hey.. he spent all of movie 1 playing dead and became such a popular face so he must be doing well, and fuck! he died in THREE and there is SEVEN movies! he's doing very well in legend if you consider that!

So to avoid making this a SAW post. I think we should take a little look at what I consider the 'icons' of horror.

Friday The 13th

The owner of the biggest list of movies is this, Friday the 13th. First movie made back in 1980 and the last movie made in 2009 making this a 29 year old franchise! Our hero is the lovely Jason Voorhees who made hockey masks totally part of fashion statements everywhere.

Halloween

Our second biggest franchise with a stomping ten tittles to date, first in 1987 and last one made in 2009 making Michael Myers and his parent issues 22 years of gory goodness. Less said about anything Rob Zombie did the better though... right?

A Nightmare On Elmstreet

A personal fav of mine with the oh so awesome but don't let him near your kids Freddy Kruger! 1984 was the start of this loveable fella's career as all round scary mother fucker with the most recent movie being a rather fantastic one may I add being made in 2010. 9 movies long and a lifespan of 26! Though I have a feeling there will be more remakes on their way.

Hellraiser

Making BDSM and pins all the rage it's Pinhead in Hellraiser, who doesn't know about Pinhead? even if you have never seen a horror with him in you just know him and that's a good horror icon along with Freddy and Jason one look and you know who it is and maybe aware of the franchise. 9 movies long also starting at 1987 and the last one only in 2005 or 2011.. depends on who you ask. So this franchise is between 18 and 24 , again depends?

SAW

Now this franchise is just a mere baby at 6 years running but hey, the guy died in three and they are still milking the shit out of it so I'll be here till SAW 29402 comes out. John Kramer being our not so scary bad guy who's love of creepy puppets on tricycles has put him up there with some of the greats.

Final Destination

Not so much a 'face of horror' as a suspect creepy breeze of wind. This franchise shows us that Death has nothing better to do then mess with peoples radios and come up with very long and over the top ways to kill teenagers and young adults. Oh and Death is CLEARLY the wise black coroner who has been in all the movies some how.. Also ANOTHER franchise [Saw..] who kept saying it was going to end and then another came out, but going on what happened in Final Destination 5 it seems that even the creators have decided it's all one big joke. Anyway five movies long and counting this started in 2000 and last movie came out 2011.  This baby is about 11 years which... feels too long.

Scream

Another franchise by Wes Craven, he seems to be pretty good at this horror jazz. Since this movie came out so many lazy and uninspired costumes for Halloween was born, and so many bad 'funny' movies inspired off of it's back. The franchise is only 4 movies long with a huge 11 year break between three and four, maybe more will come? First started in 1996 and last one in 2011 this franchise is 15 years long.. less if they decided to either end at 4 ha.

Hannibal Lecter

Not so much a franchise but very much a horror icon, the movies are amazingly well done and no one could have filled the role better, non horror fans also say what a good movie these are, and everyone knows Hannibal Lecter one way or another.

Ramble over!

X6XJigsawX6X

Horror A - Z .:A is for Amityville Horror:.

Amityville Horror

[When houses have shit loads of PMS]

I am however on about the version with Mr Ryan 'I need to take my shirt off as much as possible' Renolds. I try and make an effort to watch both the new and shiny version of something then the old classic it's ripped off and more then likely spat on it's grave but this time I will have to come clean, not seen the ordinal one yet.

The casting it's bad no one that I can't stand and pretty decent main man even if his beard was my main focus the whole movie.. I mean come on Mr Renolds looked like a skinny version of Al from Home Improvement!

Tell me I'm wrong, do it.

Leaving that glorious beard alone for a moment, the movie itself! I think the whole 'Shit we know this place has been scene of some nasty murders but we really can't afford better' is a nice realistic touch I mean if you think about the housing market now I'm pretty sure if you told someone there was a murder of twenty hundred people in this large three bedroom house near town, bus route, close to the school no one would think twice about putting a down payment on that sucker if it was cheap. Morals be damned!

I liked the pacing of the movie it wasn't too fast and it didn't drag it kept you interested and on edge through out. The house was pretty close to how I always see the old house in my mind whenever anyone brings up the movie tittle. The ghostly scenes were well done to me and this is what a horror movie is to me, something that is scary and is playing on your mind not just when your watching it but even after you've watched it, the sense of realism with this movie. The fact that the evil ghostly presents was mixed with Ryan's maddening persona as the movie went on.

Also that man can go from normal Mr average Joe to mental bloodshot nutcase in mer moments, he was a good choice, no idea why the man had to bring Des and Troy along for a horror movie but he decided to be a giant beefcake for a movie about the supernatural.

The way the movie told the story was well put together. The creepy little dead girl was a good character and I was glad when she showed skanky mc skankerson the babysitter to watch herself. The effects both CGI and blood was neat, realistic and worth the dolla dolla.

One scene that struck me as a little wtf was when Gunshow and blonde godsquad wife were getting it on the little dead girl who was SHOT in the head decided to be shown hanging herself at the edge of the bed... I mean why was she hanging herself when her cause of death was gunshot to the head? we can even see that at this point in the movie, was it a scare tactic? I mean if so it worked but minus what happened with the babysitter it's shown the little girl ghost isn't a vengeful spirit like anything else in the house...

Ryan's slowly getting madder and madder through the movie was interesting to watch and as I've said before, well done. He see's flashes of himself doing horrible things and you know the real him is still in there when he reacts to certain things in certain ways, showing it's a battle of trying to keep himself sane but a losing one none the less.

Bleeding walls have never been done so well but damn I'd be pissed if this jackass house decided to bleed all over my brand new fucking carpet.

Also the sheer amount of KISS in the movie I kinda think they had shares in it or something, Jesus.

The relationship with the living girl and the dead one was rather sweet if not sinister at the same time and at the end when little dead girl sheds a tear that she's lost her only real friend is pretty touching. To me it was the bitter ending the movie needed seeing as the main family seemed to get away fine and this sort of movie needed the dark sad ending it was given.

Amityville has been a ghost story on film and legends in real life, the tagline for the movie is 'based on a true story' which bits are true or not is for you to decide. But the whole story of Amityville has enough content to make you think it could be true, to believe the stories you've read and seen in the movie and that 'unsure' element makes the movie drag in your mind even more.

I think there needs to be less slasher movies and more movies like this one, the dark feeling of 'oh fuck, that could have happened!' or 'shit that DID happen..' if nothing else it'll get people googling about it, make them read it and will keep great ghost stories, real of false alike alive and kicking.

We all liked to be scared once in awhile and this movie will do it.

Now something to take your mind off of possible dark and unhappy thoughts..

Welcome to the gun show PA-POW!

Story: 5/5

Gore: 3/5

Scare: 5/5

Cast: 4/5

Overall enjoyment: 5/5

And remember, when a house tells you to get out, you fucking get out and burn that mother fucker DOWN!

--- X6XJigsawX6X--

New Year - Better Effort

This year I have decided to make a real effort with this blog, so be prepared for super duper amounts of horror related crap.