(2011)
Evil chiwawa's live in the dark...
ANYWAY. I saw this movie on upcoming horror websites and latched onto it right away and waited for it to come to the movies but sadly never got the time or chance to go so soon as the DVD came out it was on my birthday list. So maybe I was putting too much I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THIS! on this movie and thus why I wasn't ass impressed.
The movies opening scene is bitching it gets right into it when we see a maid who for some reason is dusting a single book in a bid to make herself look busy when she is called down to the basement where her boss is looking all suspect and creepy. Bitch falls over a trip wire and lands firmly on her face and soon comes face to face with old school dental practises.
Hammer and chisel in the chops! but being back in I'd say Victorian era? maybe not as far back would the woman's teeth be that nice anyway? they were -perfect- did someone travel back in time and tell her the importance of flossing? maybe I'm being too nit picky?
So Mr Blackwell offers his own teeth and the maids to the ash pit where voices are coming from he wants his kidnapped son back, displeased with the teeth they are able to suck a grown man down a hole... -shurgs-
Then we are whisked away to current day where the worlds most angst and attitude ridden 8 year old we will ever see comes to live with daddy and step mother to be. Que the most cliche horror movie house I have seen in awhile, damn it's big and awesome but you just need to glance at it and know 'shit be going dooooown'
Homely..
So yes new girlfriend of the dad is trying ever so hard to be a good new mommy since Sally's mother decided she didn't want her and shipped her off. The father I have respect for just taking her in with what seemed like no questions asked, thought I doubt he had much choice to be honest.
So yes, angsty little girl soon hears things around the garden and soon finds the roof of the old basement where all the teeth cracking went down years and years ago. The wise old grounds keeper knows what's up and whats down there in the basement which begs the question.. why still work somewhere that you know contains evil creatures? I know the job market is touch at the moment but DAMN man.
So the dad finds there is a basement behind a wall of his nice brand new house he pored millions into and smashes said wall, I'd have left it myself I mean aren't 20 bedrooms enough room for you? Once again we are attacked by CLICHE with the creepy basement.
So Sally hears voices in the night the gremlinchiawawa things try and tell her no one loves her, they want to be her friend and all that stuff that would scar a girl into becoming a woman who dates a string of losers cus herself esteem is lower then a snails ballsack. She lets the little fuckers out and soon shit goes down.
These little gremlins are fucking smart, they tarnish the step mother to be's clothes and the girl gets the blame and she's the obvious choice being a little angst bucket. Soon these ugly little things make her life hell, attack her when ever they get a chance, manage to work together and turn lights off, destroy her night light and other such things.
They see us rollin' they be hatin'
The CGI is well done on the animals.. monsters.. things whatever they don't look too hurhur that's cgi which adds a great element to the movie, and the fact they are an active part of the movie none of this flash of scare here a jump there OH DID YOU SEE THAT? they are always there later in the movie after the picture has teased you with creepy whispers and voices.
So yes, there is a big party and in this the girl is armed with a camera and manages to get a picture of the creatures who have been described as evil toothfairys which I love as grim fairytales are boss. But the sneaky little fuckers manage to steal her photo and lure her into the library where she is brutally attacked..
The dad decides to believe his child at last and his girlfriend who had done research on these little creeps. And what kind of dick goes to a library and yells? really? But just as they finally decide to get out of the house the parents are attacked and the girl is dragged down to the basement as for some reason creatures who feed on children's teeth are now not interested in her teeth but making her ONE OF US ONE OF US.
The girlfriend manages to cut the girl loose and is dragged down the questionable sized hole herself just as the dad rushes in to save the day.
It's later revealed that Kim, the girlfriend has become one of them.
I liked it as a movie but as a horror I think it was weak, it was slow paced and the blood bits were very cgi and that was obvious but least the blood on the people looked real. The acting was good, the little girl did hell of a good job for someone so young. The actual shooting of the movie was also well done.
But a horror it was not, before I even saw this movie I thought 'Oh! adult Gremlins!' and I think I was right. It's a good movie but it follows the vain of Pans Labyrinth with horrid dark creatures and the scares are just little jumps.
Plot: 4/5
Gore: 2/5
Scare: 1/5
Enjoyment: 4/5
Overall: 3.5/5
X6XJigsawX6X
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