The Purge

The Purge

(2013)

I never really wanted to see this movie, not like in a rush anyway. It came out and I thought...doesn't look too bad the concept looked interesting but it seemed very aimed towards the murder side of having no laws fir 12 hours so I was abit....eh.

But after looking at the movies for 2014 and saw it has a second movie coming out already so thought might as well see the first one. Went over someones house and decided we'd watch it. It started off so strong like the whole concept that America could benefit from letting all the dark intentions inside people out for 12 hours a year would help the nation, and it does.

That is a scary thought cus I myself would more then likely rob a bank or hide from it all but there is more then enough people who would enjoy the thought of killing someone it;s the same as in zombie movies, if a zombie apocalypse ever happened there would be so many people who would relish in the thought of getting to take another persons life... but them being zombies it;s different and there for survival.

Such a difference in the survival instinct and lust for blood, is it a thin line for some people? anyway maybe going off of topic a little bit..

But yes very strong start as the guy who sells people the systems to keep them safe is just cruising around and talking to the people he sold them too and goes home. Now the movie got weak as soon as his wife talks to one of the ladies that lives near them and she makes a snide comment.. Right away I knew that bitch was up to something... I hate being right sometimes.

Anyway it's everyone getting ready for lock down so they are safe for another year or murdering and what not cus hey no one wants to steal stuff or rob a bank, just go on mad killing loads like massive assholes.

So his family is him, his wife, his hot teenager daughter who wears her tight school girl outfit all movie and his creepy ass son who has a creepy ass doll spy cam so he can spy on his mother and sister.... not as creepy as his fucking eyebrows though... I wanted to pluck the hell out of those conjoined slugs...

Movie gets a little slow from here on and just turns into abit... meh but seeing people go off to 'hunt' was interesting. So nothing really happens until a homeless black guy is being chased and the son decides to let him in and save him.

At that point the boyfriend of still in her school uniform slutty mc slut bag snuck into her room, makes out with her then says he needs to talk to her dad... which means try and fucking kill him. Dad kills douchebag boyfriend and thus girl spends all movie crying and running around like a total faggot.

Black guy runs off to hide in the house. Turns out the BLACK, POOR, HOMELESS guy is being chased to be killed by a group of RICH, SPOILT, WHITE KIDS this doesn't seem like a crappy hate crime at all right? after that I was just... ugh don't care so much.

Also they are wearing creepy masks and baseball bats so.. it's just like.. The Strangers.

So it becomes The Strangers and the black guy helps them when their shitty people come to kill them.. LIKE I GUESSED, funny that right?

So yeah..... very strong start but fades into crap.

Scares: 1/5

Gore: 1/5

Plot: 3/5

Acting: 2/5

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5

Much Love

Jigsaw

CUBE - Big ol box of doooom

Ok sorry it's been so long since I got my ass in gear and did anything but I have been dealing with alot of personal issues and also parent to a new baby heggie so been looking after her. FYI she's called DEXTER [holla to ma boy Michael C. Hall]

Anyway CUBE has been kicking around since 1997 and has a prequel and a sequel. It's one of my fav movies in the horror genre, it's so simple but complex at the same time and does gore and mind fucking in a beautiful combination that doesn't make it cheesy, boring or over the top.

[1997]

The plot is basically this. Some unlucky assholes wake up in a giant killer Rubik cube. Every room is a different colour and I really think that this was the best and most cheap set to ever make. Just have two rooms side by side and change their colour from time to time. I bet that was a god send and also the costume design department must have been laughing.

With it just being a group of people moving from room to room it doesn't sound that great of a movie does it? you'd be wrong. As too many zombie related things do [I love you Walking Dead but I'm looking right at you with stink eye] one of the biggest issues of being locked in funky death trap box is the assholes you are stuck there with.

Characters are well rounded but being late 90's you can't help but get the vibe of 'token black guy' I think all three CUBE movies has angry hairless black guy. Not that they are type casting in the slightest right? anyway the group is well rounded and I didn't hate anyone.

They all wake up and freak out about where they are and what's going on. All your typical WHO DONE THIS? and turning on each other for answers but give it credit, one of the first horrorish movies to fit into that formula. Yes I do have my cock in CUBES ass but that doesn't mean I can't see it's flaws.

It's stupidly elaborate for what it is and makes no real sense why the government would go to such huge troubles to make a giant future like cube of death to sentence people. But hey it's fun or something?

Anyway... 

Dealing with one another and accusations flying around like crazy they have to move around this huge cube of complex numbers, codes and traps. Think if Hell raiser cube had babies with SAW. That kind of smash together of ideas. They have to figure out what rooms are trapped and which ones aren't.

The traps range from acid in the face, cheese wire attacks, spies from walls.. all very much boobie trapped tomb vibe I spose but the tension and pacing is great. I loved the whole feel of the movie. Not once did it drag and for a movie that couldn't go anywhere really the character development is neat.

So trapped rooms that kill, maim and murder, some seriusly unhinged people and then throw someone who is very mentally handicapped into the mix. TA DA you have the cube.

It doesn't feel like it's from 1997 it feels like it's older but in a good way, feels dirty and gritty and a good watch if your more into your psychology thriller type horrors with a dash of face melty gore.

Gore: 3/5

Plot: 3/5

Acting: 4/5

Pacing: 4/5

Scares: 3/5

Overall enjoyment: 4/5

Guest Post: Top 13 Bad-ass Horror Females

Jigsaw: Here is a guest post from my good friend Gemma! enjoy!

 

 

Us girls love a good strong female to look up to and rally behind, sadly most horror chicks end up naked and beaten against another girl in a closed sleeping bag or possessed and violated by a tree. (Jason X, Evil Dead) I've gathered up a few of the best female protagonists who truly deserve the title bad-ass. Enjoy!

 

 

Ellen Ripley

From: Alien

Warrant Officer Ripley is aboard Nostromo, a spaceship hauling fuel back on 

its return trip to Earth. When the ships signal is interrupted, the crew investigate the

 nearby planetoid, leaving Ripley to make repairs. One of the investigating crew is injured by a 

creature later named a 'face hugger' that attaches to his face. The crew violate quarantine by

 bringing him on board along with the creature inside him and trouble ensues. The creature kills all

 crew on board and Ellen commences an explosion to kill the creature before shuttling herself the heck 

out of there back into space.

Memorable Moments: When Ripley discovers the alien queen growing inside her, she kills

 herself by throwing herself into a furnace as the creature begins to erupt from her chest.

Quote: 'We waste this thing, and then you take care of me.'

Baby Firefly

From: House Of 1000 Corpses

Vera-Ellen or 'Baby' is your one of a kind morbid daddy's girl who belongs to a family 

of twisted serial killers. Baby invites two couples she encounters while hitch-hiking back to her

 house, where they meet the Firefly family.

Memorable Moments: Baby parading around in a cheerleader outfit taken

 from one of the dead teenagers her and the family torture and kill.

Quote: (To one of her victims) 'You can go ahead and piss yourself for 

all I care. If you want special favours you gotta give me something in return.'

Jennifer Hills

From: I Spit On Your Grave

A young woman takes a cabin retreat to work on her book, while alone and vulnerable 

she is brutalised, raped and left for dead by a local sheriff and some morally depraved 

individuals. After she falls into a river and is believed dead by the attackers, we enjoy 

watching her extract her revenge in equally vile an brutal ways, finishing with the sheriff.

Memorable Moments: During her revenge binge, she captures one man in a bear 

trap, holds his eyes open with fish hooks and leaves crows to peck out his eyes.

Quote: (Storch: 'She's just an innocent girl!') 'So was I.'

Elizabeth Shaw

From: Prometheus

Set in 2089, archeologists Elizabeth Shaw and partner Holloway find a star map in Scotland

 they believe to be the clue to humanities origins. An elderly CEO funds a trip to follow the map 

to the moon LV-223 aboard the ship Prometheus. Holloway is poisoned by David, the ships 

butler and maintenance man, afterwards he infects Elizabeth and impregnates her with one of 

the creatures found on the moon. 

Memorable Moments: When Shaw is inpregnated with the alien, she uses the ships 

automated surgery capsule to slice open her stomach, extract the squirming creature and staple

 her wound back together. No medication. 

Quote: 'Make no attempt to come to this place of origin, there is only death here now. 

My name is Elizabeth Shaw, last survivor of Prometheus, and I'm still searching.'

Cybil Bennett

From: Silent Hill

When Rose's daughter Sharon is having odd dreams where she wakes up screaming 'Silent 

Hill', she decides to drive to the place to discover the source of her daughter's terrors. She 

encounters a cop called Cybil who accuses her of kidnapping her daughter and after discovering 

her crashed car in the desolate Silent Hill, handcuffs Rose and becomes her companion as 

they battle the demons of the place.

Memorable Moments: She took being tied to a ladder and burnt to death like a champ, not

 screaming for mercy, but calling quietly for her mother and branding her killers crazy 

as her skin melts away.

Quote: 'Mother is god in the eyes of a child'

Clarice Starling

From: Silence Of The Lambs

Starling is a student of the FBI academy, working in the behavioural unit and tracking down

 serial killers. She is fortunate enough to encounter Hannibal Lecter, a brilliant psychiatrist 

and cannibalistic serial killer. 

Memorable Moments: Clarice wonders into serial killer Buffalo Bill's house 

and fends him off alone and covered in darkness. 

Quote: 'Your anagrams are showing, Doctor. Louis Friend? Iron Sulfide, also 

known as Fool's Gold.'

Chris MacNiel

From: The Exorcist

Chris is the possessed Regan's long suffering mother, seeking the help of two priests 

when doctors offer no help for her daughter's drastic change of behaviour. 

Memorable Moments: Getting her face pushed where no mother's face should ever go.

Quote: 'I'm telling you that 'thing' upstairs isn't my daughter. Now, I want you to tell me that 

you know for a fact that there's nothing wrong with my daughter, except in her mind. You tell 

me for a fact that an exorcism wouldn't do any good. You tell me that!'

Erin Hardesty

From: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Erin Hardesty is played by the beautiful Jessica Biel in tight jeans and a white tank top, she 

makes a great slasher film heroin, being chased by a chainsaw wielding Leatherface, 

attempting to reason with a psychopath -hick sheriff and managing not to scream for 

the entire last half hour of the movie.

Memorable Moments: Managing to escape with a baby unharmed 

after repeatedly running over the sheriff.

Quote: 'Her body is starting to stink, you guys!'

Grace Stewart

From: The Others

Grace is a tightly-wound widow, living with her two children who suffer with photo

 sensitivity after her husband never returned from fighting in the second world war. 

Memorable Moments: The defining moment when Grace discovers she and her 

children are dead after she went mad, smothered them with a pillow and turned a rifle on herself.

Quote: 'At first I didn't understand what the pillows were doing in my hands and why 

you didn't move, but then I knew, it had happened, I killed my children.'

Rachel Keller

From: The Ring

A young journalist investigates her neice's sudden death and ends up fighting for her 

son's life after he is afflicted with the same deadly curse. We see Rachel grow from an 

unaffectionate, selfish parent to a fierce protagonist who witnesses an old man electrocuting

 himself, plunging into a well and climbing back out being trailed by a pissed off dead girl.

Memorable Moments: Being knocked down a well containing a dead body by a possessed TV.

Quote: 'I think before you die, you see the ring...'

Carrie White

From: Carrie

We've all been that weird girl in school who struggles to make friends and has a 

particularly over-bearing mother. However, not all of us have telekinesis that has

 an annoying habit of flaring up whenever we're pissed off (if only...). 

Memorable Moments: Sue, Carrie's only friend at school visits her grave and as 

she bends to place flowers down, a bloody hand bursts out and grabs her wrist. According to 

my dad, this is the moment where everyone jumped in the cinema way back in 1976.

Quote: 'It has nothing to do with Satan, Mama. It's me. Me. If I concentrate hard

enough I can move things.'

Angela Vidal

From: REC

Why is it the Spanish make such great, original horrors? Here is a great example of 

one, starring a television reporter Angela and her inconspicuous camera man who are 

left trapped in an apartment building containg a disease which turns people into bloody-thirsty savages. 

Memorable Moments: In true homage to the handheld camera phenomenon, at 

the end of REC 2, we witness Angela crawling into the cameras view and having 

a worm-like creature burrow down her throat. 

Quote: 'We have to tape everything, Pablo. For fuck's sake.'

Annie Wilkes

From: Misery

Annie Wilkes is how I imagine every Twilight fan if they were given the chance of 

kidnapping Robert Pattinson. Annie is a murderous, manic depressive and above all writer

 Paul Sheldon's biggest fan. So when he is caught in a blizzard and his car comes off the road, she 

seizes the oppurtunity to nurse him back to health and impose her will on the plot of his unfinished book.

Memorable Moments: The phrase 'hobbling' springs to mind, after Annie flies into a rage

 following Paul's attempted escape and breaks his ankles with a sledgehammer.

Quote: 'You! You dirty bird, how could you!'

Check out Gemma's blog: Cream Tea And Rose Jam

London Expo Horror Guests

So I am going to London Expo this weekend and hope to see some of you awesome people there. I will be in cosplay so I don't think many people will be seeing the real me but look out for JIGSAW from SAW on Sunday and please feel free to come up and chat.

So these are the horror related guests [no matter how minor]

Noel Clarke

Dog House and more

Pascale Hutton

Gingersnaps and more

Cassandra Peterson

Elvira

Sarah Carter

Final Destination 2

THIS WEEKEND AT LONDON EXPO

Sonata

[2004]

Sonata is a strange, strange boring ass movie. I bought it for 75p so I don't know what I expected to be honest but maybe more then a soundtrack of strange armature background music.

So out epic journey starts with a girl in some sort of old fashion dress playing piano while her mother and three very rich middle aged people watch on in glee. The girl is Mega our main character who has a very over protective mother and has the girl home schooled.

This mother daughter relationship is hella creepy, Megan isn't allowed out the house, has a tutor, is only allowed to read what her mother writes as she is a novelist and also.. washes her mothers hair in the bath..

cough..

Her mother tucks her in to bed and tells her creepy stories of a girl who dared to betray her mother and fall in love with a man and loved herself more then her mother, which is pretty creepy but the only thing that is slightly interesting about the whole movie.

The movie is so low budget and slow I found more entrainment in drawing around my note page, I do bitching bunny rabbits and a sun wearing sun glasses, fo real. Anyway at first we think even if their relationship is very.. odd they are at least very loving.

It's clear the girl is very lonely and has to do everything for her mother from bathes to making tea to doing all the house work and never ever leaving the house or being allowed to talk to anyone.

Then the movie decides to be all 'whaky' and her mother brings home a creepy marionette type performer for her to see and understandably it freaks her out and she runs to her room which really pisses her mother off. Pisses the mum off so much that she just has to shag the creepy performer.. what.

So about half an hour in and fuck all has happened other then me being very creeped out by the horrible manikin looking man who bonked her mother..

The girl is sent to give a gift basket to a friend of her mothers and she see's a man who says nothing but looks at her, from then on odd things start to happen as the girl gets wrapped up in this mans image.

Soon Megan gets love letters from a mystery man which causes her mother to flip her shit and go mental at her girl but Megan is innocent, she's never disobeyed her mother and has never talked to this man who is sending her very deep love letters.

The mother starts to be untrusting and raids the girls diary and later decides to make her feel awful about herself, asks her if she thinks about boys.. sex.. and gets her to remove her clothes in front of her. Bad horror movie turning into some kinda freaky mental abuse story... She makes he feel bad about the way she looks leaving her to cry.

This pushes Megan into further crazy and she starts to see the man she saw at her mothers friends house all the time, half of it looks so real and half of it seems like it's all in her head, this is at least done well in the movie and makes it a little interesting.

More love letters come as well as a gift in the form of a fucking nasty china doll who is as ugly as sin. Her mother hides it away not telling Megan about it.

This movie still remaining rather boring also becomes awkward as Megan thinking more about this man who she met a split second and keeps appearing has a bath which looks like it's made from milk.. and well she masturbates while her mother listens in.

What.the.fuck.

Her mum then goes out to get drunk with her agent who becomes a dirty pedo and says all the horrid uncomfortable cliche stuff to the young Mega. He's come to 'tuck her in' and 'come sit on Uncle Alan's knee..' this makes me feel very uncomfortable as it's one of the few things I do not condone.

This horrid and awkward pedo scene goes on and he takes her first kiss. But as he leaves the house he gets what is coming to him as the man of Megan's dreams kills him. Which once again makes us wounder if he's real or a head boyfriend..

So odd things go on and soon Mega sneaks out the house all dolled up with make-up and a nice dress to spend the night with her boyfriend but when she returns and changes back into her night things her mother who's always been reading her diary confronts her, beats the crap into her and locks her into a closet where she will stay until she's learned her lesson.

The last scene is like a bitter end to a fairytale, Megan makes her mother a cup of tea and pretends all is well and like she has given up on the man she loved. Plays piano for her mother as she relaxes fort the evening but the mother doesn't know that Megan put chemicals in her tea and is planning to kill her.

As the poison takes effect on her mother she falls tot he floor, dying and crawling towards Megan who knows what has happened but doesn't care she just carries on playing piano.. untll her mother shoots her a few times.

The movie ends with mother and daughter curled up dead together on the floor.

And I feel I spent the last 90 mins watching the horror movie version of THIS

Plot: 4/5 [It was a good plot and so much could have been done with it]

Scares: 0/5

Gore: 0/5

Creepyness: 2/5

Acting: 1.5/5

Overall: 0.5/5

X6X Jigsaw X6X

Vanishing on 7th Street

[2011]

It's like PULSE and ALAN WAKE had babies that didn't make enough money so they disowned it.

I was so looking forward to this movie, I was gutted when it wasn't coming over here in our movies as I'd read about it online and seen a trailer and it looked so good. Sadly the reality of it was.. anything with John Leguizamo in it [other then Ice Age] is not going to be anything to write home about. I like the guy but I think it's through pity.

So the action gets going pretty near the start which is good for me as I hate the huge slow build ups like alot of horror movies try and do for tension, they rarely do it nicely. So anyway we see clips of people's lives before this happens and then after.

Find out where they work, tiny bits about the people they are before they band together. Seems the only person in the whole movie who is clued in is Paul and Luke where as the woman is my FAVOURITE type of post apocalypse person 'IT WAS DA WILL OF GAAAWD'

So people vanish after a city wide black out only leaving their clothes and stuff. Was it the rapture? this question gets asked in the movie time and time but I don't want to touch on the heavy hinting of 'god' stuff from the woman.

Very soon into the movie we see shadows move around in an eerie fashion, some make you up moments are put into play but the creeping shadows and the little whispers that come with them are pretty scary, granted and the effects are nicely done.

It doesn't take long for us all to realise that the evil shadows slinking around after people are the dead, the people who already got taken. This to me feels alot like the movie PULSE [Kario for original] but instead of the dead coming through an opened up wave length they are simply shadows who hate the light.

Which brings me to why this movie is also like ALAN WAKE lights and flash lights of any sort are your main weapon which is what you use in ALAN WAKE to help kill the 'taken' so to me this movie is no more then borrowed pieces from another horror hardly anyone remembers and a video game. It lost all original factor with me in pretty much 20 minutes of viewing.

And as in so many horror movies survivors band together in a vain attempt to either save themselves or to avoid dying alone. Luke who's pretty clued in says the days are getting shorter and shorter and light is fading fast. They find a small bar which has it's own generator which is always on it's way out.

We have a kid James who's mum works there but she went off to go see the light in the church, more bloody hinting at gawd stuff I feel. So yeah, they are all huddled together and Paul played by Sid the Sloth has a pretty nasty head booboo and he's still smarter then the rest.

So they SPLIT UP! when has that ever worked in anything ever? I know people in horror movies act like they have never seen a horror movie but come on at least Scobby Doo?!

So Luke and Godlady go to find medical stuff to help Paul with his head problem and all sorts of wacky shit insures! such as spotting a little girl who just runs from them all the time like the shitty brother in Silent Hill Homecoming. Bastard...

The dark shadows of death are sneaky bastards and start to trick people into fake light. This is how pretty much everyone dies, yeah don't get attached to anyone other then the kid cus hey it's still taboo to have kids killed off in anything right? so it was a safe bet from the start the two kids would be fine.

So in the end The little boy James runs off to see if his mother is in the church which she is in ghooost foooorm and causes Luke to get taken and everything they did up until now had been in vain cus he had to go and be a little whiny bitch.

Him and the girl find a horse outside the church and ride off into the sunset together with a huge ass solar powered torch which seemed to be the only form of light that worked fully in the whole fucking movie.

I know I slammed this movie pretty bad but it had it's good points on a horror level. You feel a consent sense of urgency and panic the whole way through the movie as the shadows of the dead are always there, always lurking, you can see them all the time and hear them.

The fact that every sorce of light lasts like ten seconds and always in need of fumbling in the dark to rekindle any sort of light adds to the intense feeling of ohshitohshitoshitdemshadowsgunnagetyou!

Scares: 2/5

Acting: 2/5

Gore: 0/5

Story: 3/5

Over all enjoyment: 2.5/5

I REALLY wanted to love this movie...

X6XJigsawX6X

Horror Doesn't Have to Be Scary

While sat reading 'Dark Water' my partner asks me 'any good?' I reply 'Yeah.. not really scary though..' and their reply was simply 'Horror doesn't have to be scary' and it got me thinking. Why do people watch horror? I always thought people like to feel scared, we can make ourselves happy, upset, worried or angry on our own or from outside influences that happen to us in our every day lives...

But we NEED something to make us scared, we like to jump at things and be scared out of our minds if even for a few moments, the way it gets your heart racing and that feel, that rush when it happens, a feeling we can't always get.

At the same time, I find with myself that you get desensitised if your an avid horror fan. Less and less scares you, we might still jump even though we know it's coming but we are never 'scared' there's so many types of horror out there, pretty much anything for every niche but we get so used to it.

Phobia's are always a big part of fear, something that might scare other people like snakes or spiders might be nothing to another person and there for a horror to them is just a movie to us, we need something to scare us that's on a personal level.

For me, personally, it's super natural horrors that get me. Things with ghosts and spirits as I have always believed in that sort of thing, for someone who doesn't believe in the occult or life after death the thought of something like SAW or I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE might be their brand of fear, real people who can do harm.

 

 

 

I was always told, it's not the dead that can hurt you, it's the living and I think that saying is very true but that still doesn't change the fact it's still fucking scary. There's still some movies who can give me the proper creeps even after I've watched it like THE WOMAN IN BLACK the pacing and the things you don't see more then the things you do.

So phobia's are a large part of what makes us scared but some people have no phobia's or fears. My partner has no fears and they can sit there watching any horror movie with a stoney blank expression. So why do people like horror?

A large part of my enjoyment other then the rare chance I do crap myself or jump so high I launch popcorn clear across the cinema like an explosion of HOLYARGGGH I guess I have a sick sense of humour. I find FINAL DESTINATION amusing, how stupid the plots get.

Where horror is so damn cheesy or easy to read it becomes funny to those of us who are maybe a little less on the moral scale then other people, maybe some people just love seeing the make-up side of it, seeing all the awesome gore and effects that go into each movie.

Back to the point of 'Horror doesn't have to be scary' this is true I think. Now I am a firm believer in a scary horror is a good horror I also think there are some things that are a good balance of horror and comedy and no one does this better then the British, we have some amazing tongue in cheek horror movies.

If they didn't have say.. zombies or werewolves in them then they'd just be comedy but we have a dark sense of humour which merges with the horror genre beautifully.

Then again some bits which aren't designed to be funny could strike your funny bone, comes down to what someone finds funny and what someone finds scary.

Every culture also has it's own balance of fear and what they believe in. Movies like GRUDGE, RING, SHUTTER, ONE MISSED CALL and DARK WATER are based on woman who had suffered a horrid end and want to make their presence known, people to suffer and this I think comes from a nation where even in the modern world women are still repressed and it might not have the same impact in America or England where as it's more 'horror' to the Japanese then an old guy dying of cancer invoking traps on people to teach them 'to value their lives'

Some people just like to watch horror cus ghosts/vampires/werewolves/evil dolls are just fucking cool.

So whatever your reason for enjoying horror, have a think about your favourite movies. What about them do you enjoy? why do you like them? what gets you scared?

This is Jigsaw out, head hurts from an actual thoughtful piece of writing.

X6XJigsawX6X