The Pact

My friend said "Lets go see The Pact!" "It'll be good!" she said "It can't be that bad" she said.

Sure, ok... not DEVIL INSIDE bad but I wanted to break out my newly bought THE WALKING DEAD issue 16 to keep me from dying of boredom when nothing 'scary' was going on. I hear it was a good movie... I think I went into a different movie.

So yeah, not as bad as DEVIL INSIDE and had a better plot then allot of supernatural movies I've seen in awhile [Woman In Black aside, that shit's awesome] so yeah shall we go into the movie I was forced to see? good, good.

(2012)

The Pact starts with a woman in her dead mothers house where she and her sister grew up and odd shit happens, allot of tension and atmosphere for sure, that was done well but every jump was easy to see, alas paint by numbers for horror once more.

So Nicole is in the house and creepy things happen wooooo and then she gets eaten by the closet cus I hear closet in houses full of shitty pro God and Jesus tat plastered over the place is bound to be full of evil right? sure!

Every time anyone was about to die or get eaten by the monster closet of shitty wallpaper and three coat hangers there would be some prick with a chello and a heavy bass sound so it sounded like the killer was a few pissed off members of an under paid orchestra who like to announce their presence like an awkward teenager trying to stand out.

So picture this.. woman walking down dark hall, things fall off walls... dark flickers as light dims and bulbs go.. cold chilling pacing.. then DOOOOOOMM! chelllllooooo I cracked up each time.. I mean what? the scary bits would have been more scary if they didn't have the same HEY SHITS GOING TO HAPPEN! cue all the freakin' time.

Maybe she was made to watch the movie too which would explain the look of utter distain and 'I'mma kill you in yo sleep' look.

So mother Nicole baaaws to her sister Annie who swears she will never ever go to that house EVER AGAIN but later goes in many, many times, way to keep up your resolve sweetheart. Her sister Nicole goes missing [The child is with a woman called Liz being baby sat or something] and Annie goes to the house and finds no trace of her sister and decides she's more then likely just fucked off which she seems to do allot of... hmm ok sounds like a great person to be a mother.

Annie stays in the spooky house and spooky shit goes on, more lights flicking, more things breaking.. including a jar of pickles and cheese! FUCKING CLOSET MONSTER EATING MY PICKLES!! ASSHOLE!

This movie was so fun to snark I died haha

So everyone goes to the mothers funeral including Liz who is looking after.. child with a name that's not important and every ones like WHERE NICOLE? sick of looking after her shitty kid. Then they decide to stay in creepy dead mothers house.

And DOOOOM chellllooooo and Liz gets eaten by the closet and Annie runs out like a mother fucker then forgets she left the child in the house.. kinda like David Cameron but unlike him she remembered in time and went and got the screaming brat.. I'd have left her to the closet. Oh and she gets chucked around by an unseen force and flung about, your average ghost shit.

From then on she looks after child and things happen in the house and she tells the police who are pretty much LOL CRAZY and make her take them to the house and due to it looking like a struggle and a nice knife chucked into the wall people start to think some things going on... that she might be to blame and she's not allowed to leave town.

Also they find a hidden room that has holes to every room in the house with neither the girls knew about.. what's going on?

She's soon haunted by dreams of this woman in a flowery dress who often comes to her as this headless body and pained looking head, her phone even gets locked onto an address which she GLOBAL searches [complete with I'm feeling lucky! and same colour/font] and see's it on GLOBAL maps. We see a creepy photo of headless lady and the plot thickens..

I'm so high right now

Annie then gets help from a very creepy out of it goth girl from high school to come to the house and see what the ef is up with it and to tell her what the ghost [headless woman] wants from her. The goth girls home seems to be full of black market shady Xbox 360 game trades..

For real.

One guy hands a shifty looking man a wad of cash for a pile of games and they both look all shifty eyed.. What are these black market Xbox dealings? and did he buy anything good? In the other room where goth girl is they are playing a really shitty FPS game.. like oldschool DOOM or something or maybe something made just for movie like GLOBAL.

So goth girl and her angry friend go to the house, Goth girl see's things and realizes the woman who was killed there blah blah back story some plot goth girl being chucked around a room and dragged about screaming, headless womens body just floating about as they do.

She gets taken away by Mr angry asshole and Annie never finds out much more.. Meanwhile the cop dealing with her case gets killed and that's the last of him, oh well no one noticed or cared..

She calls the goth girl days later and she tells Annie what to do and of course in yummy yummy cliche goodness..

NOTHING BAD COULD EVER HAPPEN RIGHT?

So she contacts dead woman who tells her she was killed.. and oh yeah something about her mother having a brother who was the JUDAS killer and the last victim was the headless woman who's in the mothers house and bugging her.. that plot thing happened somewhere but half way through I felt myself not caring and was too busy being annoyed at the asshole behind me who tipped their ice cream all over the fucking floor where I was sitting..

Rambleramble..

Brother is still alive, killed that woman, killed the copper.. been hiding under the floorboards and in this room they'd not known about, their mother had kept him hidden and safe.. He also killed Liz and Nicole.. the ghost of the killed lady was really just trying to help people by getting them out the house.. suddenly turns into adult Casper or something.

Annie also gets caught but manages to defend herself with a coat hanger, cuts herself free and shoots the horrid killer dude with help of dead chick... END OF MOVIE EVERYONE IS HAPPY.

Close up of a hole made by JUDAS killer uncle person.. and an eye appears WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

Shitty The Pact 2 is what it means.

My face this movie

Scares: 3/5

Plot: 2.5/5

Acting: 2.5/5

Pacing: 3/5

Gore: 1/5

Overall enjoyment: 2/5

XJigsawX

Battle Royale 2: Requiem

IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN BATTLE ROYALE ONE DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW. SPOILERS LIKE MAD.

(2003)

Battle Royale was such an amazing movie and novel and a squeal was no doubt what every fan was looking forward to... or dreading. When I first watched BR 1 and then found out there was a second? I leaped at the chance to watch it.

Sadly it was so.... nothing compared to it.

The books ending was so beautiful and well done that the start of BR2 makes no sense and ruins it. And also Shuya becoming a terrorist? hmm it seems abit taboo and but hurty. I didn't like the new game. In the book and first movie it was about how Japan was going into melt down and the youth of that generation was out of control and something needed to be done to stop it.

Thus the BR act.

But this time the 42 unlucky kids are not so much as 'randomly picked' as 'Hey these kids are shit and in a shit kids school.. no one will miss them if they die, they are just in the way anyway' attitude.

The set up to the game is rough and like a bull in a china shop compared to the well structured and paced opening scene of the first. Also it seems BR2 is so far clutching at the coattails of it's older brother so far. They have a 'touching class scene' where everyone signs a rugby ball, not that unseemlier from the photo of Noriko, Shuya and Nobu in the first.

Second when they are in the game intro room they have a similar 'Nobu Shuya' moment but with kids no one could care about as so far they all have the personalty of a bag of bricks.

The new teacher is also annoying as fuck, least Kitano was lonely and you felt something for him the whole way through but god, this? Also Kitano's kid has joined in the fun of BR2 cus you can sign up for it online... hm.

So this time it's not 42 students have to off each other in a three day time frame but 42 students are paired up [Boy 1 is with Girl 1 for example] and have to take on Shuya and his terrorist gang. The random factor of weapons chosen is out as they want these no good kids to do their war for them.

If your partner dies then you die via the collar system or if they are 500 meters away [I believe?] they also die.  They still have the thing with if you are in a forbidden zone when your not meant to be, you also get your head exploded.. and the three day time frame remains.

The action starts right away and they are shipped to the island where Shuya and co are and they manage to blow up a dingy full of students already... so there goes alot with no care what so ever. Least in the first one you got a small glimpse into most the students ways of dying or something but no, not this one.

So int he first 3 mins of the game we go from 40 to 28...

The 'Tag Team' element is new and must such for people as you need your partner to not be a douchebag, selfish or useless so that part is new and a .. little interesting but I feel it's too little to keep this movie ins the 'fresh' or 'good' mind set.

Like is your doing well at the game and your partner decides to be a div and run away from you... yeah your dead too. I'm not sure if this was a try at a clever and new spin on the plot or a way of knocking down alot of cast as not to pay them as much or to avoid needing to write so much in..

Don't get me wrong there are some touching bits of the movie where bonds of friendship are there bust as I said before, almost everyone personality is that of a bag of bricks. hard to feel for anyone really.

The cheerful announcements of the dead are also once again used to tell everyone who has died but it seems a pointless thing since they are pretty much all bundled together with the same mission but hey what do I know?

There is also a diabetic girl running low on insulin so sucks to be her partner.

So with 14 people left and me with hour and thirty mins left to endure. Kitano's kid leads the charge, more people die and they rush Shuya's hobo tower to try and end it while there are still some of them left.

They rush camp Shuya and get surrounded and as contemplation of peace comes up someone opens their big mouth and more shooting and pointless death. Kitano's girl is fully up for revenge on Shuya even though in the first movie it seemed like she hated her father. She is badass and often leads the charge and won't give up which puts everyone else up shit creek.

And Shuya looks like a gay jedi these days.

Alot of collars then start to make noises and Shuya who this can only bring up bad memories for gets his gang to use their EMP device and stops the collars from blowing up saving the doomed partners of people who just got fucked up and also losing the signal to everyone the government and teacher who's popping pills like mad for some reason send in the real troops to sort things out.

Annnnnd half way through it becomes more of a war story then anything else and I've already lost interest by that point but I carry on anyway. My point is it's just not the first movie and there isn't enough ties to the first to save it.

Our main hero always pulls a face and looks really bug eyed, I think the casting could maybe have been abit better but then again I know shit all about who is big in Japan and who isn't.. but the bug eyes took away any drama there could have been cus that's all you can focus on haha

So..

Gore:  3/5

Story: 1.5/5

Casting: 2/5

Over all enjoyment: 1/5

XJigsawX

Sonata

[2004]

Sonata is a strange, strange boring ass movie. I bought it for 75p so I don't know what I expected to be honest but maybe more then a soundtrack of strange armature background music.

So out epic journey starts with a girl in some sort of old fashion dress playing piano while her mother and three very rich middle aged people watch on in glee. The girl is Mega our main character who has a very over protective mother and has the girl home schooled.

This mother daughter relationship is hella creepy, Megan isn't allowed out the house, has a tutor, is only allowed to read what her mother writes as she is a novelist and also.. washes her mothers hair in the bath..

cough..

Her mother tucks her in to bed and tells her creepy stories of a girl who dared to betray her mother and fall in love with a man and loved herself more then her mother, which is pretty creepy but the only thing that is slightly interesting about the whole movie.

The movie is so low budget and slow I found more entrainment in drawing around my note page, I do bitching bunny rabbits and a sun wearing sun glasses, fo real. Anyway at first we think even if their relationship is very.. odd they are at least very loving.

It's clear the girl is very lonely and has to do everything for her mother from bathes to making tea to doing all the house work and never ever leaving the house or being allowed to talk to anyone.

Then the movie decides to be all 'whaky' and her mother brings home a creepy marionette type performer for her to see and understandably it freaks her out and she runs to her room which really pisses her mother off. Pisses the mum off so much that she just has to shag the creepy performer.. what.

So about half an hour in and fuck all has happened other then me being very creeped out by the horrible manikin looking man who bonked her mother..

The girl is sent to give a gift basket to a friend of her mothers and she see's a man who says nothing but looks at her, from then on odd things start to happen as the girl gets wrapped up in this mans image.

Soon Megan gets love letters from a mystery man which causes her mother to flip her shit and go mental at her girl but Megan is innocent, she's never disobeyed her mother and has never talked to this man who is sending her very deep love letters.

The mother starts to be untrusting and raids the girls diary and later decides to make her feel awful about herself, asks her if she thinks about boys.. sex.. and gets her to remove her clothes in front of her. Bad horror movie turning into some kinda freaky mental abuse story... She makes he feel bad about the way she looks leaving her to cry.

This pushes Megan into further crazy and she starts to see the man she saw at her mothers friends house all the time, half of it looks so real and half of it seems like it's all in her head, this is at least done well in the movie and makes it a little interesting.

More love letters come as well as a gift in the form of a fucking nasty china doll who is as ugly as sin. Her mother hides it away not telling Megan about it.

This movie still remaining rather boring also becomes awkward as Megan thinking more about this man who she met a split second and keeps appearing has a bath which looks like it's made from milk.. and well she masturbates while her mother listens in.

What.the.fuck.

Her mum then goes out to get drunk with her agent who becomes a dirty pedo and says all the horrid uncomfortable cliche stuff to the young Mega. He's come to 'tuck her in' and 'come sit on Uncle Alan's knee..' this makes me feel very uncomfortable as it's one of the few things I do not condone.

This horrid and awkward pedo scene goes on and he takes her first kiss. But as he leaves the house he gets what is coming to him as the man of Megan's dreams kills him. Which once again makes us wounder if he's real or a head boyfriend..

So odd things go on and soon Mega sneaks out the house all dolled up with make-up and a nice dress to spend the night with her boyfriend but when she returns and changes back into her night things her mother who's always been reading her diary confronts her, beats the crap into her and locks her into a closet where she will stay until she's learned her lesson.

The last scene is like a bitter end to a fairytale, Megan makes her mother a cup of tea and pretends all is well and like she has given up on the man she loved. Plays piano for her mother as she relaxes fort the evening but the mother doesn't know that Megan put chemicals in her tea and is planning to kill her.

As the poison takes effect on her mother she falls tot he floor, dying and crawling towards Megan who knows what has happened but doesn't care she just carries on playing piano.. untll her mother shoots her a few times.

The movie ends with mother and daughter curled up dead together on the floor.

And I feel I spent the last 90 mins watching the horror movie version of THIS

Plot: 4/5 [It was a good plot and so much could have been done with it]

Scares: 0/5

Gore: 0/5

Creepyness: 2/5

Acting: 1.5/5

Overall: 0.5/5

X6X Jigsaw X6X

Necromentia

[2009]

Now on the back of the DVD it says it's inspired by Clive Barkers work.. if 'inspired' means pretty much ripped off then I will agree. It reminds me of Hellraiser in so, so many ways but despite that it's still a good movie.

The plot keeps going from one focus to another every other scene almost so it's a little hard to keep up with unless your paying attention.. unlike me who is writing notes the whole way through. Ugh.

It's based on the lives of three main people. A man called Travis and his handicapped brother, a fay man called Hagen and his dead wife and a mute. But you don't see much about the mute fello till the end.

The movies entrance sequence is alot of creepy and different flashing images which really gets you interested in what the movie has to offer, it's gory and stylish and is a good taster of what's to come. Hagen, the fat guy waked up in a shitty sort of rape ally meets a Freddy Kruger pipe works area almost naked and dripping blood from his back.

Voices of a woman ring all around him and he is pretty confused as anyone would be after waking up in a small shitty alley covered in blood and a massive headache, it's like an average weekend for some students though...

We then see our first demonic being which spouts some crap at the man.

The next scene is the fat guy Hagen talking to his dead wife and giving her a bath, talking about keeping her nice and clean, how he loves her and how he is going to bring her back to life. His basement is full of odd shit and when he gets her out the bath and hooks her into some freaky contraption to test her joints or something it's very much a Frankenstienish image.

There is even an awkward scene where he speards her legs and looks up 'there' with a flash light. Yep, still dead. I have no idea why this was part of the movie but the guy looks like a massive creeper anyway so what do I know? looking at dead people's genitals might be the standard for creeps?

The woman playing dead needs to be a little more.. 'dead' acting as you could see her breathing from time to time and moving her eyelids, I'm sure playing dead is hard but it's these small things that people like me notice that takes from the hard work they had done thus far.

Next scene we have is the man working in a barbers shop and two biker-y types burst in and tell him they know about his dead wife, the baths and the necrophilia and give him the most uncomfortable shave of his life.

But one biker also tells him there is a way to bring his wife back.. they have the power to bring the dead back to life and they want to help him. Biker with shades gives him a sob story about how he was going to do this to his brother but they'd burnt the body before he had a chance.. desperate to get his wife back to life he goes with these very shady folks.

There is alot of occult themed talking and mumbo jumbo and out comes the occult books and all the gab that comes with it. I've watched enough horror to know an odd bit or two about Ouija Boards but this is a whole new concept and it's pretty neat. By carving the board into someones back you can use them to get the dead back or go into hell.

So this is how fat man ends up with a bloody back, he has a nice new cut tattoo of the occult on him.

Now we go back in time and see our next main character 'Travis' his folks are dead and he is struggling for money, skint, living in a shit hole and having to look after his mentally and physically disabled younger brother.

Now we really end up feeling sorry for Travis, seeing the struggle he's going through, coping with money issues and a brother like this. Trying his best to make a life for them both and it seems really frustrating having a brother with so many problems and doing it all alone and he has a job to try and keep at.

He leaves his brother to go off to work and leaves the TV on for him... This is where the odd part of the movie comes in, this really happy and cheerful song about suicide comes on and a really big pig character called 'Mr Skinny' comes to entertain the brother and try get him to kill himself..

Nothing like seeing a really fat man in barbwire..

We are then taken to another scene which seems a mix between a Jigsaw trap and extreme bondage as a woman is tied to a very flash but grimey looking table in all sorts of BDSM style ropes and belts while a masked figure tortures her. Alot of well done gore and realistic blood which is an awesome point of this movie, none of the gore looks fake it all looks pretty good. Some of the best I've seen if I'm honest.

We then learn that the crazy woman paid for the torture and the masked man is Travis, yes his job is torture.

Travis is also hooked on drugs and does some after his little 'job' and has what most people think is a bad trip but he meets a grey awkwardly handsome demon who keeps visiting him in his head from time to time and is trying to worn him about the bad things going on with his brother at home.

He rushes home and catches his brother before he kills himself but from then on realises he can't leave his brother alone any more... He asks another scruffy looking man, a friend to look after his brother while he goes off to maim more people for money.

Sitter falls asleep and the brother with the aid of Mr Skinny kills the friend and hangs himself.

Demon once more warns Travis to go home but it's too late, the demon then makes a trade with Travis, if he helps the demon he will get his brother back and soon Travis is taught all the occult stuff and practises on his dead friend, cutting the Ouija board into his stomach.

Soon after this the plot goes nuts and moves away from these two people and to the mute guy and how everyone's pasts all link up.

I won't go into that as it's an awesome end plot and it finishes it up really nicely and neatly.

Monster's all look like they got dropped from the Hellrasier final cut, the gore is very well done. The actors are good, the acting good, stylishly shot with the dirty grainy feel the whole movie has from start to finish.

I had no ideas what this movie would be like but it's a good one.

Plot: 4.5/5

Gore: 5/5

Acting: 4/5

Scares: 0/5

Overall enjoyment: 4.5/5

X6X Jigsaw X6X

Suicide Circle

[2002]

Also known as Suicide Club

I've been wanting to see this for ages but back when I was a teenager it was very hard to find online and my skills of search wasn't as good as it is now and late last night and today I watched it and I loved... the first half. The second half went on CRAZY JAPANESE OBSCURE HUMOUR bend.

It's a typical low budget movie from Japan which isn't bad, movies don't need to be gushing cgi and fancy ass effects as long as the story is good and the acting convincing. I mean come on! The Ring was a fantastic horror and it was just a woman in a white dress and long hair, point made Japan.

So we start our movie with lots of school girls from many different schools going to the train station and lining up, they all hold hands and the most cheerful music you could ever imagine comes on as these girls see a train coming and then jump.

And the crew armed with buckets of tomato juice just chuck it all over the place! buckets of really bad fake looking blood all over the windows, people, the station runs red with the blood of fruit!

So nice action so far minus the very laughable blood but hey tomato's gotta be cheaper then red paint or food dye right?

So after 54 girls kill themselves we are taken to the hospital where two very pretty nurses are sat chatting about going to get lunch late at night and damn are Japanese nurse outfits hot. So one goes off to get grub leaving her friend to worry why it's taking her so long...

Nurse who staid gets worried and calls the security guard and no one knows whats taking the other nurse so long so soon the guard hears nothing from either of them for awhile and heads up to the staff room where he is greeted with no sign of the other nurse just a wide open window, darkness and hand prints on the window pane.. he's abit slow if he didn't think that was abit odd..

The missing nurse comes back and starts to act really odd.. she looks brain washed and casually opens the window and without a second thought announces 'Well, see ya later' and leaps out the window to her death. Just an average day!

Also a bloody bag shows up on the scene of the crime which the police take away.

'Smells like that time of the month!'

So the cops are trying to sus out why so many girls killed themselves is is a cult? is it a crime? or supernatural? oooooh! So we have taken the bloody bag to forensics and we are told that in the bag is a reel of human skin.. that looks alot like really bad cheap value ham sewn together..

I wounder what their budget of ham and tomato's was for the effects of this movie? I think some jam may have been included.

Soon they get a call from a woman who seems to be on to something and he code name is 'The Bat' she informs them there is a website that is keeping track of all the suicides.. but before they happen! white dots mean men and red dots mean woman and of course there are alot more red dots.

So back to forensics who are still trying to piece things together and one man shows us his table of mangled school girl corpses, it looks like something in a really bad art installation..

Our main cop goes home and he has such a nice family unit, a son, daughter and a wife who all seem very happy. They all watch what Japan calls 'idol' bands which the western world calls annoying girl bands.. and god is this idol band annoying and god are they EVERYWHERE.

The idol bit is important for later so you just have to deal with buckets of fucking annoying preteens singing ear killing high pitched J-pop.

Back at a high school where there are mixed feelings on the suicide cult rumours, some aren't fans and some joke about it like it's nothing. A few guys are like LOL LETS KILL OURSELVES WON'T IT BE COOL!!!! and thanks to per pressure there is a cry of YES! LETS DO IT!

One girl rushes to the roofs edge and soon everyone wants in on the action and they all hold hands on the roof and there is a count down while on lookers watch not thinking they'd do it. Soon they all jump and those buckets of tomato juice come back in force.

See back when I was a kid pokemon was all the rage... and pogs. Clearly we were not as hard core as these students.

We soon see that three people wussed out and to not wanna look lame in front of people, go through with it also.. well the guy doesn't want to then a girl decides to take him with her. So is that classed as a suicide, murder or assisted suicide? hmm

The next scene I honestly could not help but laugh at as sick as that might sound but the suicides aren't limited to young school girls and a few boys but adults too. A woman is happily passing and a guy falls on top of her trying to kill himself! The irony was it was her boyfriend, she's more pissed about him hurting her then him trying to kill himself... I see they had an awesome relationship.

The cops by now have clocked on to the connection of the website, the sewn together ham skin and the suicides.. and realise there is a cult out there doing all this and they need to get behind it asap but will not yet class it as a murder case.

They soon get another lead that there will be another large suicide and told where to go, they see a large group of school girls and freak out! but they had nothing to worry about they only pretended to jump and things go uneventfully for our cops.

With the cult becoming such a big thing fully grown woman start to walk around with signs telling people to jump, trying to convince anyone who's bad to kill themselves and all that sort of cult-y thing.

We see a selection of people trying to kill themselves in different ways as really happy music plays in the background again.. and this is the turning point in the movie that takes us from a very good murder mystery sort of set up to a 'wtf am I watching' experience as we see a woman cutting her own hand up with no signs of pain.

Our main cop goes home and shit goes wrong for him. His girl is stood there soaked in blood and grinning like a loon but he fails to notice until he stands up and sees bloody foot prints everywhere. Damn kids and their messes -shakes fist-

It seems his happy family unit wasn't so happy and have killed themselves.. remember it's the cool thing to do these days, everyones doing it! The strange woman calls up the cop once more and gives aload of crap to him and it was clearly not to his liking as he blows his own brains out.

At the same time 'The Bat' and her sister get kidnapped by some really scruffy looking too late for punk rock scene group of guys and dragged away in bedsheets to a disused bowling ally.

Now comes the part of the movie that really throws the plot into the ditch and pisses on it. The main guy of the camp boy band suicide club starts singing to 'The Bat' and her sister while one of their group rapes and kills a woman..

I can see Japanese rocky horror picture show in this group...

So they kill 'The Bat's sister and get her to tell the cops where they are, he decides it's time they get arrested so their names will go down in history but even after they have been brought in by the cops the rash of suicides keep happening even with them behind bars.

This is where our lady who got jumped on comes back into the story, she's visiting her boyfriends place or back home can't remember and has that awful idol groups posters everywhere and she soon sees a message in the poster.. not long after she figures out the idol group are up to something she gets a phone call and given information.

She goes to the concert of the god awful idol groups concert and manages to get back stage where loads of kids are giving it the old cult mumbo jumbo but she ignores it and goes to the stage where more kids spouting even more crap are there giving her a round of applause.. by this point I am pretty lost in the movie.. I won't lie I watched the rest of it with a raised eyebrow and a 'the fuck?' look plastered on my face.

Next we see is a giant box full of woman and rats running around on the floor. Creepy kids are all watching on as a man cuts skin off of the woman to add to the sewn together skin roll and then we cut to a man who's hung himself with Christmas lights.... arg what is this.

The end of the movie is pretty much the idol group giving their last performance... the movie just kinda ends.. nothing real is given away about what happened but if you watch carefully through the movie you notice alot of things that build up to the end.

So.. the first half of the movie would get a 5/5 but thanks to the second half... well.

Gore: 1/5 [though laughable as anything]

Acting: 3/5

Story: 4/5 [first half] 1/5 [last half]

Over all enjoyment: 3/5

X6X Jigsaw X6X

Horror Doesn't Have to Be Scary

While sat reading 'Dark Water' my partner asks me 'any good?' I reply 'Yeah.. not really scary though..' and their reply was simply 'Horror doesn't have to be scary' and it got me thinking. Why do people watch horror? I always thought people like to feel scared, we can make ourselves happy, upset, worried or angry on our own or from outside influences that happen to us in our every day lives...

But we NEED something to make us scared, we like to jump at things and be scared out of our minds if even for a few moments, the way it gets your heart racing and that feel, that rush when it happens, a feeling we can't always get.

At the same time, I find with myself that you get desensitised if your an avid horror fan. Less and less scares you, we might still jump even though we know it's coming but we are never 'scared' there's so many types of horror out there, pretty much anything for every niche but we get so used to it.

Phobia's are always a big part of fear, something that might scare other people like snakes or spiders might be nothing to another person and there for a horror to them is just a movie to us, we need something to scare us that's on a personal level.

For me, personally, it's super natural horrors that get me. Things with ghosts and spirits as I have always believed in that sort of thing, for someone who doesn't believe in the occult or life after death the thought of something like SAW or I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE might be their brand of fear, real people who can do harm.

 

 

 

I was always told, it's not the dead that can hurt you, it's the living and I think that saying is very true but that still doesn't change the fact it's still fucking scary. There's still some movies who can give me the proper creeps even after I've watched it like THE WOMAN IN BLACK the pacing and the things you don't see more then the things you do.

So phobia's are a large part of what makes us scared but some people have no phobia's or fears. My partner has no fears and they can sit there watching any horror movie with a stoney blank expression. So why do people like horror?

A large part of my enjoyment other then the rare chance I do crap myself or jump so high I launch popcorn clear across the cinema like an explosion of HOLYARGGGH I guess I have a sick sense of humour. I find FINAL DESTINATION amusing, how stupid the plots get.

Where horror is so damn cheesy or easy to read it becomes funny to those of us who are maybe a little less on the moral scale then other people, maybe some people just love seeing the make-up side of it, seeing all the awesome gore and effects that go into each movie.

Back to the point of 'Horror doesn't have to be scary' this is true I think. Now I am a firm believer in a scary horror is a good horror I also think there are some things that are a good balance of horror and comedy and no one does this better then the British, we have some amazing tongue in cheek horror movies.

If they didn't have say.. zombies or werewolves in them then they'd just be comedy but we have a dark sense of humour which merges with the horror genre beautifully.

Then again some bits which aren't designed to be funny could strike your funny bone, comes down to what someone finds funny and what someone finds scary.

Every culture also has it's own balance of fear and what they believe in. Movies like GRUDGE, RING, SHUTTER, ONE MISSED CALL and DARK WATER are based on woman who had suffered a horrid end and want to make their presence known, people to suffer and this I think comes from a nation where even in the modern world women are still repressed and it might not have the same impact in America or England where as it's more 'horror' to the Japanese then an old guy dying of cancer invoking traps on people to teach them 'to value their lives'

Some people just like to watch horror cus ghosts/vampires/werewolves/evil dolls are just fucking cool.

So whatever your reason for enjoying horror, have a think about your favourite movies. What about them do you enjoy? why do you like them? what gets you scared?

This is Jigsaw out, head hurts from an actual thoughtful piece of writing.

X6XJigsawX6X

The Woman In Black

Harry Potter And The Woman In Black

2012

So I've never been one to go with the flow and dis a movie if the collective reviews are negative or love the fuck out of something that's a 'cult classic' I'm honest with my reviews and I like what I like and I liked this movie.

The very first scene gets right to it, we see three girls all playing with their dolls having a grand old time and the suddenly they all stop dead and slowly and eerily walk to their window and jump. Suicides are a popular theme in this movie.

The movie is well shot and once you get past all the Harry Potter jokes you see that Danny Radcliff is a rather fantastic actor and I think he breaks away from the role of Harry well enough that he can be a better and wider actor then he first started off.

My one issue with Mr Radcliff is his character has a four year old son... a FOUR YEAR OLD SON when Danny himself doesn't look more then 19 with a bit of bum fluff going on where a beard should be and sporting very wtf eyebrows..

His son is adorable and we find out about his tragic past,cus no good character can get away without some tragic past right?

We all have a giggle at the sons drawings showing how sadface the miserable and gritty looking main man is. He travels to a little village to get some dead woman's will in order and the village gives off one hell of a 'This is a local village for local people!' right away everyone hates him.

Cus he's a wizard outsider.

One guy who doesn't believe in all this mumbo jumbo be-friends Mr Kipp and even invites him to dinner. It's made more then clear that the people of the village don't want him there and he manages to bribe some very homeless looking guy to take him to the dead woman's house..

Which is on an island, on it's own, separated from the village by the sea. Cliche of all cliches I know but bare with us. The house the moment he goes in is very typical of a haunted house and right away we know shit is going down. He spends the day and in true supernatural horror form things go bump in the night.

Every scare is easy to see coming from the footsteps along the old wooden floors to the thunder storm raging out the window. And you know that EVERY SINGLE TIME Danny Radcliff looks into a reflective surface or out a window for a prolonged amount of time OMG THERE SHE IS THE WOMAN IN BLACK, EVERYONE SCREAM!!! AAAAAH!

Yes, 95% of the scares you do see coming but you WILL still jump. The movie is shot very well and the fading in and out of faces of the woman and the other dead is very well done and tastefull. If you want a good old fashioned super natural ghost story with great costumes and an old worldly feel this is good. Beats the fuck out of Paranormal 'this is a real story but has a sequel or two' Activity

So we find out that every time someone sees the woman in black someone in the village, a child DIES and it's all Danny's fault and they try once again run him out.

But that's be no fun right? so he stays anyway and low and behold more shit goes down, we even see zombie mud man son of woman in black. We find out more of her story, how her sister fucked up with her husband and took the child with them, how the child died and the woman's hatred for her sister.

Danny and his friend decide if they find the kids body and reunite it with the mother all will be well so we get to see Danny covered in mud and some over acting [although alot of the cast is a tad hamming it up] so the plan goes ahead and the son and mother are reunited but the words NEVER FORGIVE echo through the old ladies house.

The curse as it was, is not over and his son and nanny come to visit and once again the woman in black decides to tell a child to go and kill themselves.

The ending as more cheese then a double cheese and bacon whooper meal but it's sweet, very sweet and it a lovely ending as you do feel for this man and his troubles. Also this movie has alot of child killing which is still a mega taboo in alot of things.

If your looking for a movie with depth, maybe not this one but it is a good old fashion scary ghost story, it's so nice to have something like this over the gore, gore, gore slash stab kill gore that the horror genre is pretty much stuffed with.

If you want to watch a good movie that will make you and a few people scream in the movies, you need this one.

Acting: 3.5/5

Scares: 5/5

Gore: 0/5

Story: 4/5

Overall: 5/5

X6XJigsawX6X