The Woman In Black - Novel

(1983)

Not often I read something older then myself but since seeing the movie and really enjoying it I really wanted to read the novel and I was shocked to see how small the novel was, I was expecting something you could murder someone with, a big brick shaped book but it's pretty slim.

Now if you have only seen the movie you are in for a slightly different story. There are similarities in the book and the movie but it's good to not re-read the same thing as you watched.

I don't know how to review without killing the plot same with all reviews I guess haha so yes SPOILERS LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE COMING.

First biggest change it's told in first person, it's from the thoughts of Arther Kipp as he recalls his time dealing with Eel Marsh House and the horrible things that transpired there. The movie and the book both have Krekwick, Arther, Samual Daily and Mr Jermone but what happens for the most part is different. The chain of events and how it all flows are near enough the same.

He's sent from London to do a job, the people around him know why he is here and act funny about it but instead of being cold and trying to banish him from the village the Inn keeper is very kind and allows him to stay, instead of hating him and wanting him gone people treat him with an awkward kindness.

Also kids don't drop like flies in horrid ways in the book like they do the movie and Arther sees the Woman In Black in the village at Mrs Drablows funeral which never happens in the movie version. He then goes to Eel Marsh House but no one tries and stops him. Once there he also sees the Woman In Black but has a stubborn mind set to not believe in ghosts.

During his stay all manner of creeping ghostly hauntings happen to him, similar to the movie version and it's Arther's wits against the creepy and eerie land around him shut off from the rest of the countryside by the causeway which is subject to tide and how he deals with it while trying to work.

The story unfolds and we find out more about the horrid things that happened in that house and why it's so haunted. Arther gets away with nothing more then frazzled nerves and returns to London to be with his wife and new baby but soon he sees the Woman In Black and suffers an awful tragedy.

The book ends with Arther finishing his story which he never intends people to read during his life time but he hoped writing about his past would chase away the returning nightmares.

So he doesn't die we realise this from the start of the book when he has remarried and with a new family.

Now the story is still fantastic, the ghostly bits you can picture in your head everything is very well described and builds up a world. There is a bit where he is in the nursery and there is pretty much 3/4 of a page telling us in detail what is in the room.

My only really big issue with Susan Hill's writing style is she uses 'AND' a little too much it'll be something and something and something and something... Yes I've seen four ands in a row like that at one time. If you don't mind that slight display of sloppy writing then go for it.

The movie wasn't miles and miles apart just the start and end are different then in the novel.

Now I plan on seeing the theatre show and maybe this year there will be a review of that up by me!

Story: 4/5

Writing: 3/5

Enjoyment: 4/5

Over all: 5/5

A short, non taxing good old fashion ghost story.

X6XJigsawX6X

Vanishing on 7th Street

[2011]

It's like PULSE and ALAN WAKE had babies that didn't make enough money so they disowned it.

I was so looking forward to this movie, I was gutted when it wasn't coming over here in our movies as I'd read about it online and seen a trailer and it looked so good. Sadly the reality of it was.. anything with John Leguizamo in it [other then Ice Age] is not going to be anything to write home about. I like the guy but I think it's through pity.

So the action gets going pretty near the start which is good for me as I hate the huge slow build ups like alot of horror movies try and do for tension, they rarely do it nicely. So anyway we see clips of people's lives before this happens and then after.

Find out where they work, tiny bits about the people they are before they band together. Seems the only person in the whole movie who is clued in is Paul and Luke where as the woman is my FAVOURITE type of post apocalypse person 'IT WAS DA WILL OF GAAAWD'

So people vanish after a city wide black out only leaving their clothes and stuff. Was it the rapture? this question gets asked in the movie time and time but I don't want to touch on the heavy hinting of 'god' stuff from the woman.

Very soon into the movie we see shadows move around in an eerie fashion, some make you up moments are put into play but the creeping shadows and the little whispers that come with them are pretty scary, granted and the effects are nicely done.

It doesn't take long for us all to realise that the evil shadows slinking around after people are the dead, the people who already got taken. This to me feels alot like the movie PULSE [Kario for original] but instead of the dead coming through an opened up wave length they are simply shadows who hate the light.

Which brings me to why this movie is also like ALAN WAKE lights and flash lights of any sort are your main weapon which is what you use in ALAN WAKE to help kill the 'taken' so to me this movie is no more then borrowed pieces from another horror hardly anyone remembers and a video game. It lost all original factor with me in pretty much 20 minutes of viewing.

And as in so many horror movies survivors band together in a vain attempt to either save themselves or to avoid dying alone. Luke who's pretty clued in says the days are getting shorter and shorter and light is fading fast. They find a small bar which has it's own generator which is always on it's way out.

We have a kid James who's mum works there but she went off to go see the light in the church, more bloody hinting at gawd stuff I feel. So yeah, they are all huddled together and Paul played by Sid the Sloth has a pretty nasty head booboo and he's still smarter then the rest.

So they SPLIT UP! when has that ever worked in anything ever? I know people in horror movies act like they have never seen a horror movie but come on at least Scobby Doo?!

So Luke and Godlady go to find medical stuff to help Paul with his head problem and all sorts of wacky shit insures! such as spotting a little girl who just runs from them all the time like the shitty brother in Silent Hill Homecoming. Bastard...

The dark shadows of death are sneaky bastards and start to trick people into fake light. This is how pretty much everyone dies, yeah don't get attached to anyone other then the kid cus hey it's still taboo to have kids killed off in anything right? so it was a safe bet from the start the two kids would be fine.

So in the end The little boy James runs off to see if his mother is in the church which she is in ghooost foooorm and causes Luke to get taken and everything they did up until now had been in vain cus he had to go and be a little whiny bitch.

Him and the girl find a horse outside the church and ride off into the sunset together with a huge ass solar powered torch which seemed to be the only form of light that worked fully in the whole fucking movie.

I know I slammed this movie pretty bad but it had it's good points on a horror level. You feel a consent sense of urgency and panic the whole way through the movie as the shadows of the dead are always there, always lurking, you can see them all the time and hear them.

The fact that every sorce of light lasts like ten seconds and always in need of fumbling in the dark to rekindle any sort of light adds to the intense feeling of ohshitohshitoshitdemshadowsgunnagetyou!

Scares: 2/5

Acting: 2/5

Gore: 0/5

Story: 3/5

Over all enjoyment: 2.5/5

I REALLY wanted to love this movie...

X6XJigsawX6X

Horror News

Walking Dead cast coming to Birmingham Comic Con this month!

Between the 31st and 1st of March Birmingham comic con will be running and they will have some of the walking dead cast coming along, a very unmissable chance for fans! I myself should hopefully be going and betting some signed things.

Guests are:

CHANDLER RIGGS

Carl Grimes

MELISSA McBRIDE
Carol Peletier

MADISON LINTZ

Sophia Peletier

LAUREN COHAN

Maggie Greene

And remember Norman Reedus will be along for signings at another event this year for details: NORMAN REEDUS

For more info on this convention and getting to see The Walking Dead Cast BIRMINGHAM COMIC CON

APOLLO 18

[2011]

Another space horror to add to the mix of a pretty strong sub genre of horror. I've also wanted to see this for ages but hadn't had a chance. My boss at work ruined the ending for me anyway but as you watch it there's no real spoiler as it becomes abit obvious half way through..

Another 'found footage' movie where we are meant to believe it's real footage and yet the actors are clearly credited at the back -shurg- that and CGI. I'm kinda done with the whole found footage branch of horror but at least this wasn't riddled with annoying shaky cams like CLOVERFIELD who I still have to thank for the bought of motion sickness.

The plot is good old 1974 USA paranoia about the Russians, they send three men up together to put up these big tracking radar systems to monitor the Russians actions towards the USA. Typical stuff like that, they also have a lark about enjoying the moons oddly new found gravity..

So yes they are on the moon having a gay old time and putting these big we don't trust Russia things on the moon while one of the men is picking up samples. Now if there is something scary about to happen this movie pretty much zooms in on it and highlights it. All it was missing was a huge neon arrow going HEY..HEY YOU, LOOK! LOOOOOK THERE'S SOMETHING SCARY! DID YOU SEE IT? HEEEEY!!!!!

Which was annoying, I suppose it stops people missing the 'action' of a rock twitching of moving but still. The movie has a nice grainy camera effect which just adds to the effect of a found footage piece. The movie is slow going very slow paced and I felt I was losing interest alot along the way but in this slow moving speed we get alot of good character development that we don't often get in horror today.

We LIKE these guys and care about what happens to them, they are just mindless victim number 1 to 3 they have a back story and they have connections with each other that the audience can relate too.

So after half the movie has been slow and 'getting to know your cast and crew' almost we get some action. Footprints not of their own are found and they follow them to where a very fucked up and unfortunate Russian craft was, this confuses are men as the Russians hadn't been to the moon by then.

Further investigation finds that the Russian that came with the ship had died and now they freak out, somethings not right here and they can't figure out. They rush back to their base and call it in and it seems no one cares.

Alot of the communication between home on earth, the man in the middle and our two unlucky fuckers on the moon often fades in and out due to the giant radar boxes they stuck on the moon, least that's what we assume.

One of our men gets attacked and there is something in his space suit, he freaks out like mad and has to be dragged onto the ship, we see he's pretty fucked up and then a slightly grim poking around a mans cut shows a rock got into his skin.

Our main man Ben's reaction to our first conclusive site of the alien being? SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! if we had more thinking like that in horror movies there would be less dead people. The guy who the rock thing decided to chill out in starts to get pretty sick and as day two on the moon starts we see it's getting worse and making him go crazy.

Crazy like the 'Crazies' kind of crazy.

They soon assume that the Russian watching boxes are more then likely not there for that but the people back home knew about the aliens and they were sent to watch them. The boxes are alien watching boxs.

The crazy guy gets worse and soon crazy eyes decides to vent his hate on the ship causing it to be well useless now. So Ben grabs his nuts buddy and off for a joy ride on the moon rover back to the Russian ship but before he can make it his mate gets pretty fucked up and he has to leave him outside assuming him dead.

He gets in the Russian ship and finds out it still works, he gets in touch with the Russians who then patch him into home base where he is told cold and flatly they knew about the aliens all along and he was contaminated, thus he was going to be left to die.

Since we like this guy, knowing his past and who he is, growing to like him we feel bad for him and hope he finds another way out. The middle man who is also friends with the two on the moon tries to patch in to the Russian craft and save his friend but back on earth they give him the same line, if he helps in anyway he'll also be left to die out in space.

Ignoring the cold hearted assfarts on earth he decides to try and save his mate, Ben, who is also suffering from moon rock alien infection but doesn't see it. Soon he's fired off into space but infected with crazy things don't go as planned.

They give us some shit at the end about lies on how they all died, but it was a nice touch.

I know peoples real issues with the movie were how the aliens were well.. rocks well come on. Animals on our planet have camouflage to hide, survive or hunt and on the moon their choices are limited to rocks, dust or an American flag? I liked they were rocks.

Story: 2/5

Gore: 2/5

Acting: 5/5

Shooting: 4/5

Scares: 1/5

Over all enjoyment: 3/5

X6XJigsawX6X

DEAD SET

[2008]

Dead Set is a TV series that was five episodes long and aired every night in a row from October 27th. I don't know if any Americans are awear of the horrid boring cash cow we in the UK had to endure year after year called 'Big Brother' it plays on the term of being watched, they put in the biggest bunch of money grabbing and attention starved people into a 'house' where 'big brother' watches and monitors them and each week one of these half wits who's not deemed as popular as other half wits get the boot.

So Charlie Brooker created a cross over of Big Brother and the zombie outbreak. I've seen the show once before when it was airing and decided to re-watch and give it a review. I've only reviewed one episode as I hope people will give some British horror a go and watch it for themselves.

The footage is very official to Big Brother since E4 and Channel 4 owners of Big Brother ran this show so they even have the northern narrator and Devina McCall in on the whole thing which for us UK people gave it some real reality, our proper news reporters also made up the fake outbreak stories which you don't get in huge movies aye?

So cue the same cliche scummy people we get in Big Brother year after year, a twat, a pompous prick, a moron, a chavvy woman, a Northerner, a fatty, a tranny and just general chavvy no ones. They themselves are about as fun as paint drying to watch.

The first episode looks on the production staff and how everything is going wrong back stage with the contestants none the wiser to the hell going on outside their fake four walls. We have a main character called Kelly who is cheating on her boyfriend and works for the biggest asshole of a boss. A member of the team goes to get one of the consents mother and along the way they find a crashed car.

Now in anything with zombies being curious or good natured will get you munched and indeed we have dinner for the victims of the zombie virus. The assistant then decides to take the bloody driver towards the studio where all hell breaks loose, loads of people who have come to enjoy their awful live experience with Big Brother soon become little more then fast food.

The zombies are of the zombie lore of get bitten, die come back alive, become sprinters even though the person before becoming a zombie more then likely never  ran more then five seconds in their life kind. One gets into the production studio and it all goes to hell in a hand basket.

Soon our main girl Kelly is the only one alive and boy is she a smart female role for once, she arms herself with the biggest pair of scissors you will ever find which confuses me to why they were in an office? Anyway Kelly armed manages to take down the man she was shagging who decided to become one of the walking dead with very little guilt towards killing him but instead longs for the man she's really dating who she's been brushing off.

Oh silly human dramas~

So now everyone in the building is a zombie which includes Devina McCall and damn if you thought she was annoying BEFORE...

The contestants in the Big Brother house carry on having their petty dramas but slowly realise that Big Brother isn't watching, there is something going on and it's not good. As the airheads try figure out what is wrong Kelly is running across the courtyard with scissors. Wouldn't that be ironic if when the world has become the living dead and you fall on a pair of fucking scissors?

She gets into the house and all the zoo animals.. I mean contestants think it's all a joke, that Big Brother was trying to trick them and put either a retarded person or a crazy person in their little group to stir stuff up. One of these contestants really doesn't believe her and teases her by opening and shutting a door and of course A WILD ZOMBIE APPEARS and takes two of them out.

Kelly decides the huuuuuge pair of scisors isn't enough and gets something else to bash the zombies brains in. It's safe to say that they believe her wild claims now.

End of episode one.

Like I said there are five episodes in all and I think you can still watch them online today if not the DVD costs pretty much nothing on the likes of Amazon. This show is shot well, has all your typical zombie outbreak needs such as shaky camera, screaming, running in blind panic and much much more.

The gore is fantastic and looks just as high budget as anything Hollywood has to offer us. If your a fan of Brit horror then this one is a good one, it includes such lines as "Smells like fingering in here..."

Scares: 1/5

Gore: 4/5

Story: 2.5/5

Acting: 5/5

Over all enjoyment: 5/5

It's a good one kids.

X6XJigsawX6X

Don't Be Afaird Of The Dark

(2011)

Evil chiwawa's live in the dark...

ANYWAY. I saw this movie on upcoming horror websites and latched onto it right away and waited for it to come to the movies but sadly never got the time or chance to go so soon as the DVD came out it was on my birthday list. So maybe I was putting too much I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THIS! on this movie and thus why I wasn't ass impressed.

The movies opening scene is bitching it gets right into it when we see a maid who for some reason is dusting a single book in a bid to make herself look busy when she is called down to the basement where her boss is looking all suspect and creepy. Bitch falls over a trip wire and lands firmly on her face and soon comes face to face with old school dental practises.

Hammer and chisel in the chops! but being back in I'd say Victorian era? maybe not as far back would the woman's teeth be that nice anyway? they were -perfect- did someone travel back in time and tell her the importance of flossing? maybe I'm being too nit picky?

So Mr Blackwell offers his own teeth and the maids to the ash pit where voices are coming from he wants his kidnapped son back, displeased with the teeth they are able to suck a grown man down a hole... -shurgs-

Then we are whisked away to current day where the worlds most angst and attitude ridden 8 year old we will ever see comes to live with daddy and step mother to be. Que the most cliche horror movie house I have seen in awhile, damn it's big and awesome but you just need to glance at it and know 'shit be going dooooown'

Homely..

So yes new girlfriend of the dad is trying ever so hard to be a good new mommy since Sally's mother decided she didn't want her and shipped her off. The father I have respect for just taking her in with what seemed like no questions asked, thought I doubt he had much choice to be honest.

So yes, angsty little girl soon hears things around the garden and soon finds the roof of the old basement where all the teeth cracking went down years and years ago. The wise old grounds keeper knows what's up and whats down there in the basement which begs the question.. why still work somewhere that you know contains evil creatures? I know the job market is touch at the moment but DAMN man.

So the dad finds there is a basement behind a wall of his nice brand new house he pored millions into and smashes said wall, I'd have left it myself I mean aren't 20 bedrooms enough room for you? Once again we are attacked by CLICHE with the creepy basement.

So Sally hears voices in the night the gremlinchiawawa things try and tell her no one loves her, they want to be her friend and all that stuff that would scar a girl into becoming a woman who dates a string of losers cus herself esteem is lower then a snails ballsack. She lets the little fuckers out and soon shit goes down.

These little gremlins are fucking smart, they tarnish the step mother to be's clothes and the girl gets the blame and she's the obvious choice being a little angst bucket. Soon these ugly little things make her life hell, attack her when ever they get a chance, manage to work together and turn lights off, destroy her night light and other such things.

They see us rollin' they be hatin'

The CGI is well done on the animals.. monsters.. things whatever they don't look too hurhur that's cgi which adds a great element to the movie, and the fact they are an active part of the movie none of this flash of scare here a jump there OH DID YOU SEE THAT? they are always there later in the movie after the picture has teased you with creepy whispers and voices.

So yes, there is a big party and in this the girl is armed with a camera and manages to get a picture of the creatures who have been described as evil toothfairys which I love as grim fairytales are boss. But the sneaky little fuckers manage to steal her photo and lure her into the library where she is brutally attacked..

The dad decides to believe his child at last and his girlfriend who had done research on these little creeps. And what kind of dick goes to a library and yells? really?  But just as they finally decide to get out of the house the parents are attacked and the girl is dragged down to the basement as for some reason creatures who feed on children's teeth are now not interested in her teeth but making her ONE OF US ONE OF US.

The girlfriend manages to cut the girl loose and is dragged down the questionable sized hole herself just as the dad rushes in to save the day.

It's later revealed that Kim, the girlfriend has become one of them.

I liked it as a movie but as a horror I think it was weak, it was slow paced and the blood bits were very cgi and that was obvious but least the blood on the people looked real. The acting was good, the little girl did hell of a good job for someone so young. The actual shooting of the movie was also well done.

But a horror it was not, before I even saw this movie I thought 'Oh!  adult Gremlins!' and I think I was right. It's a good movie but it follows the vain of Pans Labyrinth with horrid dark creatures and the scares are just little jumps.

Plot: 4/5

Gore: 2/5

Scare: 1/5

Enjoyment: 4/5

Overall: 3.5/5

X6XJigsawX6X

So Another Year Older...

Just bragging on my horror haul I got for my birthday.

That's alot of reading and watching in the upcoming weeks.. phaw.

X6XJigsawX6X

DEAD SPACE : Aftermath

So I've always been a fan of DEAD SPACE games and been on abit of a Dead Space kick as of late, bought both movies and the novel and god damn if I had the money I'd be buying the bladecutter replica in my local nerd shop for £300 phaaw dat weapon.

Right now I will warn you right away not to get put off of this movie just from the CGI because it.is.the.worst.CGI.I.ever.saw EVER SAW.

The CGI is terrible so bad I had no words for it but thankfully the CGI part of the story only serves as a break between the anime style story parts. Think of the 'Animetrix' where each story is a different anime style, it's pretty neat.

The worst CGI....

The story closes the gap between DEAD SPACE 1 and 2 and focuses on resident crazy mother fucker Nolan Stross and his team. His team are him, a Hispanic fella with a mech arm, a big buff black man and a Chinese nurse and a bunch of other people that.. don't really matter although drunken Scottish captain amuses me. But don't get attached to anyone the death count is huge.

I always love comic books, movies, novels that fill gaps between things it just gives the franchise more of a story and if you really loved the games this movie keeps damn cannon and strings things together and you often go 'oooh that makes sense'

Each story is from a characters point of view and has a different anime style, all are pretty awesome minus the last one which is on par with the shitty CGI but I'm no art critic what do I know? Not scary in the least bit but an interesting watch, the blood and gore is well animated and I love the Necromorphs.

We find out about the Marker, where it went after Isaac fucked shit up in number 1 and how it took over the place you go as Isaac in number 2, find out how he gets there and how everything started and it's a good ol' watch. I don't want to ruin it TOO much.

The black guy is a crazy mother fucker and often sees his dead girl and shit goes wrong for our team, anyone who comes in contact with the MARKER decides to go batshit insane and off the deep end which explains why Nolan Stross is a giant nutball.

We find out he also has a part in the Ishimura and he's happily married with a son but his wife has a case of YOUR SLEEPING WITH YOUR CO-WORKER BAAAAW!! which in all fairness he IS which leads to some badly drawn boobies and we see as well as being crazy and hen pecked Nolan has a case of shadow crotch.

So his wife does his head in and is rewarded with blade cutter to the face.

We see some signs of the crazy ass religion that is all over in DEAD SPACE cannon but not too much which did shock me since it is all around in both games. Stross himself views Necromorphs as the future and this causes him to really descend into true nutbaggary.

A cool thing about the movie other then the neat animations from the peoples POV's is they use all the sound effects used in the game which add's to cannon and is a nice touch.

I can't stress enough how awful the CGI is and that you should not let it put  you off because the rest is a very good watch.

Story: 5/5

Animation: 4/5

Gore: 3/5

Overall: 4.5/5

X6XJigsawX6X

The Walking Dead THE GAME

I hit my head over and over and over that this is being made a game. I fucking love The Walking Dead I've been a fan since the first tradeback forever ago but everyone should know by now that 95% of all movies/live action to games and vice verse are pretty terrible.

There is no better example of this then the SAW game ugghhh you could steal things from the people you kill but you could not take their shoes? TAKE THEIR SHOES YOU GET DAMAGE FOR STEPPING ON GLASS. I raged so much I think I played all of half hour before I couldn't even make eye contact with the case ever again like an ex partner you keep seeing around, you know the look, catch a glimpse and look away in shame.

I don't want to feel that way about anything with The Walking Dead I heart this franchise so much even if the show let me down in places.

So enough of my little rant...

the game is being made by Telltale Games who's only good game tittle is 'Tales Of Monkey Island' this alone does not bode well for a good game but saying that some big games groups drop the odd turd bomb.

I like how the game is going to look very similar to the comic book style which is a big part of The Walking Dead's charms.

But at the same time I can't help but feel this game is going to flop and badly. A horror game either sores and does fantastic for itself like the DEAD SPACE, Resident evil and Silent Hill franchises or fall flat on it's face like SAW and CONDEMNED 2,

Original concepts always do well but when it comes to Zombie movies and games there isn't much of that. Most zombie games play the same LEFT 4 DEAD was a break through since it was so much more about the co-op and the online play then many games.

I always think for modern games they either are like RESIDENT EVIL or DEAD RISING and until and after L4D there isn't much difference. So this game is going I read is going to try and be the speffle snowflake and try and be it's own thing which is awesome but at the same time, it's not a recipe for success on it's own.

A quote from the man himself Kirkman has said "that, unlike typical zombie games such as Left 4 Dead, it will focus more on characterization and emotion than action"

As a gamer and a fan of shooting, hitting etc this sounds pretty... boring. If it's got a deep plot, enough violence to help keep you busy or some awesome puzzles then power to it but I could see it getting boring and repetitive in places like DEAD SPACE 2 where the same things happen over and over.

I am also not a fan of the 'SAVING MY CHILD!1111' part about it, was similar in DEAD RISING 2. I also feel that so many fans are being OMG OMG I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS GAME!!! and everyone is putting so much hype onto it for being the next awesome game that it will never fill those expectations and will disappoint much like to DUKE NUKEM FOREVER. Not a bad game it just disappointed 13 years worth of expectations.

I'm not trying to piss on anyones chips but I won't be buying this game till it's about £10.

If your less of a meathead then me and want to check it out.

The Walking Dead Game

More screen caps

X6XJigsawX6X

SAW TORTURE FILM FAN HACKED MATE TO DEATH

Headline from a UK paper 'The Sun' from last Thursday. I admit I only read the paper when I'm waiting to start work or go home but that's not the point.

Now I know this is something that's been in media for years. Violent video games cause kids to go on killing rampages, car games fuel road rage and that Marylin Manson fella will make your kids worship Satan etc.. But this article is fucking bull shit.

Violent people will lash out and be violent due to their nature, maybe sometimes there is something that triggers their actions sometimes but to say any ONE thing makes a person do what they do is naive. Once again it's easier to blame things like violent games and movies then shine a light on the bad parenting and the state of our times.

Not once did the article say the killer SAID it was due to an obsession with SAW he was simply asked "It sounded like the gruesome torture film SAW?" to which he replied "Yeah, like that"

I take articles like this with a pinch of salt as it's a shock value piece but as an avid fan of the 'Horror' genre and a fan of SAW I had to make this entry. Almost every DVD I own is horror where something nasty happens or there is an element of death and gore but that doesn't mean I have a dark urge to kill people.

To suggest it was due to simply owning the entire collection is such a load of crap. Did he also own all of 'Peppa Pig' and 'Spunge Bob'? Heard people talk to pigs and dress them up and oh try and live in a pineapple under the sea, awful stuff those shows.

SAW is a violent and gory movie, yes and this is what people focused on when they raided his home., If it hadn't been SAW it would have been the next blame able object.

Society is to blame for people like this and the actions they take, stop trying to buck the blame and sort out the hole that is current times.

To read the article SAW TORTURE FILM FAN...

X6XJigsawX6X

Silly Saturday

Gotta do the washing AND atttacked by a face hugger? damn.

Horror Doesn't Have to Be Scary

While sat reading 'Dark Water' my partner asks me 'any good?' I reply 'Yeah.. not really scary though..' and their reply was simply 'Horror doesn't have to be scary' and it got me thinking. Why do people watch horror? I always thought people like to feel scared, we can make ourselves happy, upset, worried or angry on our own or from outside influences that happen to us in our every day lives...

But we NEED something to make us scared, we like to jump at things and be scared out of our minds if even for a few moments, the way it gets your heart racing and that feel, that rush when it happens, a feeling we can't always get.

At the same time, I find with myself that you get desensitised if your an avid horror fan. Less and less scares you, we might still jump even though we know it's coming but we are never 'scared' there's so many types of horror out there, pretty much anything for every niche but we get so used to it.

Phobia's are always a big part of fear, something that might scare other people like snakes or spiders might be nothing to another person and there for a horror to them is just a movie to us, we need something to scare us that's on a personal level.

For me, personally, it's super natural horrors that get me. Things with ghosts and spirits as I have always believed in that sort of thing, for someone who doesn't believe in the occult or life after death the thought of something like SAW or I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE might be their brand of fear, real people who can do harm.

 

 

 

I was always told, it's not the dead that can hurt you, it's the living and I think that saying is very true but that still doesn't change the fact it's still fucking scary. There's still some movies who can give me the proper creeps even after I've watched it like THE WOMAN IN BLACK the pacing and the things you don't see more then the things you do.

So phobia's are a large part of what makes us scared but some people have no phobia's or fears. My partner has no fears and they can sit there watching any horror movie with a stoney blank expression. So why do people like horror?

A large part of my enjoyment other then the rare chance I do crap myself or jump so high I launch popcorn clear across the cinema like an explosion of HOLYARGGGH I guess I have a sick sense of humour. I find FINAL DESTINATION amusing, how stupid the plots get.

Where horror is so damn cheesy or easy to read it becomes funny to those of us who are maybe a little less on the moral scale then other people, maybe some people just love seeing the make-up side of it, seeing all the awesome gore and effects that go into each movie.

Back to the point of 'Horror doesn't have to be scary' this is true I think. Now I am a firm believer in a scary horror is a good horror I also think there are some things that are a good balance of horror and comedy and no one does this better then the British, we have some amazing tongue in cheek horror movies.

If they didn't have say.. zombies or werewolves in them then they'd just be comedy but we have a dark sense of humour which merges with the horror genre beautifully.

Then again some bits which aren't designed to be funny could strike your funny bone, comes down to what someone finds funny and what someone finds scary.

Every culture also has it's own balance of fear and what they believe in. Movies like GRUDGE, RING, SHUTTER, ONE MISSED CALL and DARK WATER are based on woman who had suffered a horrid end and want to make their presence known, people to suffer and this I think comes from a nation where even in the modern world women are still repressed and it might not have the same impact in America or England where as it's more 'horror' to the Japanese then an old guy dying of cancer invoking traps on people to teach them 'to value their lives'

Some people just like to watch horror cus ghosts/vampires/werewolves/evil dolls are just fucking cool.

So whatever your reason for enjoying horror, have a think about your favourite movies. What about them do you enjoy? why do you like them? what gets you scared?

This is Jigsaw out, head hurts from an actual thoughtful piece of writing.

X6XJigsawX6X

Zombieland

Zombieland

(2009)

Now I know people have more then likely seen this being a funny type movie with zombies in it but I re-watched it today as I didn't feel like doing some hard core review on something brand new or thought invoking. And thus Zombieland review.

Zombieland stars everyone's favourite poor mans Micheal Sera... Jesse Eisenberg! if you want nerdy, whiny, spineless and type casted but can't afford the real Sera? then this is your man! [Though I personally prefer Jesse, meaning I don't want to punch him like I do Sera..]

They even look so much alike..

Anyway the movie is like any Zombie movie, a guy trying to survive this awful zombie virus and keeps himself going, meets other survivors and becomes more about the people dealing with each other more then actual problem of zombies..

Since most zombie movies fit this cliche I won't pick the wafer thin plot any more as after all this is just a zombie movie with lol's along the way and sometimes if you just want to sit back and turn your brain off and enjoy movies like this are what you need.

So the movie starts with our hero telling us about himself and the rules he follows and all the way through the movie these rules pop up and I don't know about you but the rules really reminded me of 'The Zombie Survival Guide' no idea if this was intended or not but it worked.

If you are not a fan of movies who are narrated by the main person then don't bother, normally though I hate movies like that but it worked nicely for Zombieland.

There was alot of things that bugged me about this movie, only little things though like when the woman is chased by all the Disney princesses and one falls off the back, that little girl sure has the power of turning into an adult man, haha with all they spent on gore they couldn't have spent a little more on a much shorter/smaller stuntman? really? well ok, maybe people aren't as nit picky as me.

The story goes back and forth from flashbacks or off topic back to current time and it's placed well and breaks up the story a little more and gives us more depth into the characters. I still really hate the woman and later we find out the have been con artists, what a good sister! teaching her little sister to con men from an early age, well done.

And people are pretty wastefull in this movie, if your really trying to survive why would you not stock up on as much food as you could while you could? and why chuck away perfectly good weapons? Maybe this is just me nerd raging but it doesn't make sense, again it's a comedy so big things like that are allowed to slip where as if this was a real horror.. wtf.

I hope I am not the only one to have made the connections with the  game Left 4 Dead 2's level 'Dark Carnival' and the ending scenes of the movie? even down to the clown zombies... they both came out in 2009 so I don't know which came first. But here, look for yourselves.

And

I think it's too much to be just a happy coincidence..

Now the plot is basically our nerdy shut in virgin [kind of like 85% of people who fucking love movies with zombies haha, I kid] and he meets one hell of a badass man and then of course, cue woman cus we need a love interest right?

So food, weapons and everything the world needs to live and protect themselves from the undead is hard to find but apparently there is loads of thick eye make-up around and this woman has enough time to slap it on everyday? and it doesn't smudge or anything, I think they need to market this shit.

And Hollywood, being the very large and tourist based place that it is was very... dead and almost empty.. surely the streets would have been jammed? and this brings me to my next big bellyache of the movie.

Who ever wrote this movie had their tongue firmly up Bill Murray's ass. I like the guy, Ghostbusters was fucking awesome! but this movie was so bumming Mr Murry for a good 15-20 minutes and how bad is a movie when you need to pad it out so much with footage of another movie and loads of references to it? yes it might have been a little funny the very first time but then it just felt awkward.

Was like watching a bad episode of Family Guy and seeing a god awful cut away joke that lasts a good chunk of the show and about five people laugh at.

So when the movie stops jerking off Bill we see the group all hanging out and as goofy as this movie is there is a flash back and we find out the tough boss man had a horrid past and it's done so touchingly and acted so well that it reminds us this movie is still about zombies and people lose their loved ones, it sobers up the mood of the movie if even for the smallest bit.

The last scenes are basically the 'Dark Carnival' level of L4d2 just without Hunters or the likes, it's a pretty awesome ending, it all happens in the last scenes of this movies, zombies everywhere, badass gun fight and saving the girl he loves.

The ending is cliche and a happy one but we don't need every movie to be doom and gloom right?

Best thing about the movie 'Enjoy The Little Things'

Story: 2/5

Acting: 3/5
Gore: 3/5

Humore: 4/5

Over all enjoyment: 3.5/5

X6XJigsawX6X